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Saturday 28th June 2014

4234/17153

It's approaching two weeks without my wedding ring and I am disappointed to report that not a single person (or a married person) has hit on me. Not even my wife. I probably only have a week of not being married left before the ring comes back and locks me into marriage for the rest of my life (the ring will now be too tight to ever come off again). I am happy with that and I don't have the time or energy to do anything about it, but it would still be nice to be hit on, just to confirm that I've still got it. At the moment it's looking dangerously like I do not still have it. Maybe I never did.

Tonight I gigged in an inflatable bowler hat in the shadow of St Paul's Cathedral. All this work has not sent me insane. It was a big bowler hat. Enough to get a couple of hundred people inside (though I had about half that many). Halfway through the gig the bells in the clock tower rang out ten o clock and I commented that I was being heckled by a Cathedral. Well played Sir Christopher Wren. He may have been dead for over 300 years but that didn't stop him mildly spoiling one of my new routines.

The stand up show progresses surprisingly quickly, just as the play progresses surprisingly slowly. I think both projects will be fine.  But without even trying I have managed to pretty much learn the new routines. And soon I will be able to spend some time taking them apart and putting them together better. Maybe even to write some new ones too.

I had arrived early and so took the opportunity to stock up on some veg (my nutritionist now wants me to eat 1kg of vegetables a day). So I was delighted when I found a pack of stir fry that had been reduced to 24p because it was about to pass its sell-by date. I could make a kind of risotto (or more accurately an oat-otto) for my breakfast in the morning and still enjoy the mild rock n roll peril of it being about eight hours past its safe sale point. What have I become? I used to be cool, I used to be sexy, but now I just smell of vegetables and no one wants me, apart from the greatest woman on the planet earth.



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My new stand up show, Lord of the Dance Settee will be touring from October 2014 to May 2015 All details here.
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