CNPS numbers spotted 8 (881).
My body has finally said, "OK, that's enough. I'm not playing any more." And to give my body its due it has done remarkably well at keeping up with me. I have essentially been partying for two months. First I did my fifty dates and then I've pretty much just kept going with the same level of drinking and going out. This weekend I started to realise that things had gone on too long and it was time to stop the fun, get things in perspective and get down to work. Ironically, now I've stopped (tonight was my fourth night in a row without an alcholic drink - incredible) all the hangovers and illnesses I've been ignoring have hit me all at once. I had great intentions to make progress with the show today, but in the afternoon was light-headed and very tired and had to go back to bed. I have no-one to blame but myself and it had been terrific fun getting to this point of self-destruction, but enough is enough.
I hope I haven't done any permanant damage to myself, but if I have it's all in the name of trying to make you laugh. I can have no regard for my own safety when your slight and fleeting pleasure comes into the equation. I have the most dangerous job in the world. I am considering moving into something a bit less risky, like President of Iraq.
This has been the most incredible year for me and I have been pushing myself to all kinds of limits, so it's not surprising that my body doesn't particularly understand what has hit it.
I'm not sure I am going to be able to make sense of it all so soon, and maybe with some distance I will have a better understanding of what effects all these things have had on me. Writing the show is filling me with fear and I'm not getting very far. I also seem to be prevaricating a little bit on the remaining tasks. But this is just the usual way for an Edinburgh show. Often it doesn't look like it's going to come together til right at the last minute (it was the last gig before Edinburgh before "Christ on a Bike" took on any kind of shape).
But this hopefully brief period of illness and abstinence will give me a chance to take stock a little. Nice as it would be to think that I am superhuman and can carry on drinking loads and dating tens of women, the truth is that I am fast approaching 40 and will soon need to stop behaving in this ridiculous fashion. I reckon I've got a couple more years before it really takes its toll.
So best make the most of this brief window of relative youth. Pass the vodka, mate.
