So far so good on avoiding the righteous vengeance of Jahweh (or God as you may know him - he's touchy about people using his actual name -will I never learn), but He is notoriously difficult to predict and very random in his actions, successfully making it appear like He doesn't actually exist and everything just happens by blind chance. So I won't get too cocky yet. Having said that if Christ on a Bike pissed him off that much then you'd think he might have done something about it in 2001. We are dealing with a wily opponent here. He might wait years until He strikes me down, but when He does, you will know why He has done it.
I had a couple of abortive attempts at replying to D H (MRS) saying things like that from my understanding of Christianity her unforgiving and threatening nature might actually end up with her feeling the wrath of God. Or at least annoying him if He is as woolly and liberal as I suspect (there is a good chance I think, that God will turn out to be very similar to Andrew Collings and probably invented the world by mistake and believes in homeopathy despite there being no evidence for it or indeed Him). But it felt like I was unnecessarily stirring things up when D H (MRS) might already be a murderous psychopath already. It will be annoying to go all the way to Inverness just to get stabbed in the face by a nutcase who doesn't even understand her own religion properly. Then again, I did try to kill their monster so there might be more aggrieved Scotchmen and women waiting to get me. Hopefully I will get murdered by a fanatic early on in the tour to save me the trouble of actually having to do it - but if you could wait until it's on DVD before you kill me so I at least make some money out of it.
And thanks to all those of you who have preordered Hitler Moustache
via gofasterstripe. You will all be rewarded in Heaven. For it is written and so it must be shall.
I didn't have too much more to do on the script and had hoped I might even get time to start thinking about the next one, but my brain wasn't playing ball and I made very heavy weather of it all. Whilst I have plenty of material this time round it's been difficult to get it all into a cohesive argument, mainly because Englishness and the English lack of enthusiasm for celebrating it, is a massively complicated business and one that I am unlikely to clarify in a 27 minute comedy show. I think there's a lot of funny stuff in there though and this might be my favourite show yet. But still there's a sick feeling in my stomach about all I have to get done once this is over. I very much need a break, but unless some massive new project suddenly appears in my in-tray then I will be able to take my foot off the gas after the first
AIOTM.
So a day stuck in my attic, struggling to write and eating too much chocolate in the mistaken belief that that would somehow help or make me feel better - it did neither. Not much to write about.
Incredibly I have managed 12 weeks without a drink of alcohol and it's been pretty easy. Largely because I am now a boring old man who doesn't go out every night any more and so doesn't have the temptations. I am just one week away from having made it through a quarter of my 44th year without the support and impediment of sweet, sweet alcohol. How long will this continue? Luckily I drank enough in the previous 43 years that I am still full up, but I don't know how long those reserves will last. But as yet, absolutely no compunction to return to my old ways. Have a drink for me to celebrate 84 days of sobriety. I really need to give up chocolate though if I am going to become healthy. Or maybe just give up work. Maybe head to a desert island on my own for a couple of years. That should sort me out.
Maybe I just need to find God. Though He'd be encouraging me to get back on the sauce, drinking His son's blood. The perverted cannibal.
