I have a hell of a lot of work on this month and so despite being post-Edinburgh weary there was no time to sit down and relax as I headed into the BBC to record my final set of links for the BBC7 Breakfast show. I hate to break the magical illusion for the little kiddies who read this, but my bits for this are not done live. All media is a lie my friends. I don't even really write this weblog, but have contracted the work out to some orphans from Singapore who do it for one pence old money a day. Ha ha ha. I am evil.
Usually I would record a week's worth at a time, but because of Edinburgh I sometimes did two weeks at a time, which might explain my weariness, mistakes and lack of imagination on certain links. I make a lot of it up as I go along, so it's essentially the same as if I was doing it live, except that I don't have to get up and go to a studio at some ungodly hour to do it. It's not important, no-one is really listening - this isn't actually true 6000 people entered the competition to win a DAB digital radio and I have had complaints from countries as far afield as Israel and Japan about my unprofessional performance and offensiveness - all I said was that it was good Hitler had started the second world war because that meant we got the brilliant
Dad's Army series! I did add, "Hitler wasn't all bad", but unless you want to live in a world where good and evil are neatly boxed up and no-one can have an element of both then that is true. And given that I am saying his main achievement is to have provided the influence for a sit-com I don't think you have to take my words too seriously. Just to make sure you understand - I think that a lot of what Hitler did was bad.
There are also people enjoying the show (again mainly in far flung destinations around the world), so it's not a total disaster! Tune in if you get the chance. There's only a week more of my sarcastic intros to go before Su Perkins takes over the job.
I was recording my
Capricorn One-style media hoax in a little studio in Broadcasting House. There was a script on the table left by the previous broadcaster to work from this cupboard. It was for some documentary introduced by Steve Lamaq. I don't know if he writes his own scripts, but suspect he does, but I noticed that the first line of it was "Hallo, I am Steve Lamacq".
I found it interesting that Steve Lamacq writes "Hello" as "Hallo". Does he do this to remind himself to pronounce the word "Hallo" instead of "Hello", thus making himself appear more of a man of the people (as only posh people say "Hello")? If this is the case then I find it amusing that he even has to write it this way, almost as if he wrote "Hello" he might forget that he wants to pronounce it "Hallo" and accidentally reveal himself to be less a man of the people than he thought. If he automatically pronounced the word "Hallo" then he wouldn't need to write "Hallo", would he?
Maybe it was just a spelling mistake or a typo. And maybe Steve Lamacq didn't write it. And maybe I am reading too much into this. But I think that "Hallo" reveals more about Steve Lamacq than anything else he has ever said or done. Do listen out for him on the radio and listen to see if he pronounces it "Hello" or "Hallo" and if it is the latter, see if you can sense any affectation or falseness in his delivery.
Regular Warming Up reader, the sinister SG Lee has emailed me to point out that Jason Trachtenberg was actually booked to perform at the Perrier party and in protest changed the words of his song so they became a list of World Health Organisation indictments of Nestle. So he is even cooler than I had made out before.
To see him and his family in their strange show then check out their tour dates here.
Actually Jason gave me a leaflet. It got a bit scrunched up in my pocket, but all the details you need are here.
