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Thursday 5th January 2017


Speaking very generally and based on loads of stuff that has been happening I tweeted the following, "Weird trend now of people refusing to allow any criticism or joke about their political leader. More like love than politics.” This unquestioning and quasi-religious devotion to a public figure is hardly specific to one person, but  it universally seems to blind people to any failings the person they’ve backed might have or to allow any negative comments. I have supported political causes and have my own beliefs, but there isn’t a single one where I am not acutely aware that arguments aren’t perfect or that there isn’t something laughable about the person saying them or that I don’t have disdain for some of the people who basically agree with me, or know that they don’t have disdain for me. It’s good to believe in something, but when you believe unquestioningly, refuse to see fault and are blinkered by love or faith then that’s pretty bad. If it then goes on to you now allowing anyone to make a joke or claiming someone else is biased if they don’t 100% agree with your point of view all the time… I mean that’s getting into some pretty dark territory. It’s weird that again, across the board the people who feel like this about a politician are cynical about all other politicians and claim there is spin or conspiracy or plain wrongness in opposing views and yet they have no cynicism about their own views and no question that there might be anything underhand going on. I think most of us are unsure and question our own views and at least privately doubt ourselves, but not being certain about everything shouldn’t be a negative quality. It’s the people who are certain that they are right and refuse to ever see the need to compromise on anything who are the problem in this world.

I am certain of that and will not allow any counter argument.

Someone immediately asked who I meant (even though I think it was clear I was talking generally) and I responded "Loads of people. But bet I will get replies saying "how dare you say that about X? he's infallible. Which is my point."

And I was correct.

It was grimly satisfying that my tweet about no politician in particular about the inability to take a joke received several aggrieved responses about how dare I say that about Trump or Corbyn or Farage (and there’s a whole list of politicians you could add to that, because I was genuinely talking about the trend worldwide and not any of those people in particular).

A confused and angry man in America tweeted, "Do me a favor, shut your face and talk about your tiny country. Our President. 1776 called, FUCK OFF.” Let’s overlook the fact that he can’t even spell favour and wonder why he would assume I meant Trump.

I tweeted "Yup - make a general point and some assume I am talking about their beloved leader. Was there ever a more satisfying QED?” before adding, "If 1776 called it must have been using a tin can on the end of a string. No wonder the message got so badly garbled."

This guy was obsessed with the victory in the War of Independence, which I think most of us here in the UK have got over now and don’t really spend much time thinking about. Mainly because none of us were alive then and it was nothing to do with us. But he decided it gave him moral authority, which is nice for him.

Later with the news that the UK economy had defied predictions of doom (though let’s remember that Brexit hasn’t happened yet and that we’re doing well in the FTSE because the majority of companies in it are international and are thus profiting from the weakened pound, or that the money men are circling and waiting to make big profits if and when things do properly collapse) and I decided not to be hypocritical, allow myself to question my own beliefs and have a go at being a Brexiteer. I chastised the Remoaners and called anyone who disagreed with me a traitor and told them that they lost and they should get over it. To be honest I didn’t enjoy it. I just felt horrible. And I didn’t feel like a winner, even though I had joined the winning side. I felt like a terrible, terrible loser. “We voted to leave, so we should just leave now.” I tweeted. But then I just felt like an idiot. I mean who would really want that without any safeguards or trade deals in place.Only someone so obsessed with an ideology that they didn’t care if they had to pass through a threshing machine to get what they wanted.

I am enjoying drinking your liberal tears, I claimed. But I wasn’t enjoying it at all. Drinking tears is disgusting. How can that be classified as a victory? I should be making the liberals drink their own brackish tears, not be doing their work from them and ending up with a mouth full of Liberal juice. Why did I let the liberals cry into a cup and then grab the cup and drink it myself. I am clearly terrible at making choices.

I had to acknowledge that I am too busy drinking fascist jizz to have time to wash it down with liberal tears. This stuff is plastered everywhere at the moment. And it's Hitler-jizzy-licious. Call us losers all you want, but we're the one drinking your salty jazz, while all you’ve got is a cup of cry. So who's the loser now?

Luckily Hitler's 1 ball worked twice as hard as a normal ball, so lot's of delicious Nazi Jizz for me. Until liberal do-gooders came along.

StuStuStuStuart questioned my thought process - is that a winning thing? "Ha ha ha. You loser! I'm drinking your jizz." Seems contrary.

He’d beaten me with his impenetrable logic. What I’d said was so ridiculous it could almost have been a joke. But like I say, no one allows jokes now, so it couldn’t have been.

Greg’s Head, who may have been serious or may have been joining in with the joke said "Gag on that nazi cock and shut up whinging” and I told him I didn’t suck cock, I just drank the jizz, because I was not a weirdo.

@dysprosaic responded to that with “Lol we're like Jack Sprat and his wife, Richard.” Which was my favourite joke of the day. So well done to him. 

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