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Wednesday 5th June 2019


Put the Change UK MPs in charge of Brexit. They’re super efficient at quitting stuff. Am I right? My name’s Richard Herring. Good night.

I realise now that the War of the Worlds Audible version is not an audio drama and not the same as the Richard Burton one. I thought it was odd that none of the songs were in it, but am slightly bamboozled as to why that is. Also tragically it does not include the line where the journalist says, “I could have dug that much in a day” in a really patronising way, that makes it sound like he’s showing off about his own digging skills rather than the Artilleryman’s ineffectuality. I will be taking all this up with Michael Sheen on RHLSTP and making him say that line so that I can edit it in. But Jeff Wayne (or whoever wrote this) gets something right that HG Wells fucked up, which is to remove the useless brother character and have his part of the story told by the journalist’s wife. So take that HG Wells you long dead idiot. Not so clever now are you?

I was out for an early morning stone clear this morning (recorded for your delight and released here) -The countryside looked particularly beautiful this morning and it is a shame that one day all the flora and fauna shall be replaced by a kingdom made of stone, with me as its stone king. But let’s enjoy life while we are alive.
It really made me face my own mortality today as I thought about my bones buried beneath the stone barrow that shall be my grave. We are already dead, yet dance upon this earth like we don’t have an infinity of nothingness ahead of us. Here I am, picking up stones and ensuring I am never forgotten and yet I might as well be gone already for all it’s worth being here.
You only get this kind of insight when you are amongst the crops and the wild flowers that seem so pretty now, but have an uncancellable appointment with the scythe in just a matter of weeks. Are we any better than those poppies? Somewhere in space and time our deaths are already being mourned and somewhere not far beyond that the last person who remembers us has forgotten us.
Unless we have built a wall of stones visible from space.
And yet if Michael Sheen were to pass by and see what my month’s of work have created I am sure he’d say “I could have built that much in a day”. Well, Richard Burton would have done.
Mildly distracted by chores and trying to book RHLSTP today, but got some more done on the EH (FNR) book. It’s over 3000 words now. Writing a book is easy. What a fool I have been wasting my time and sulking that no one has recognised my genius.  And writing this pointless blog instead of something more worthwhile. 
Immortality can only be writ in stone.
RHLSTP is back in London for the next 2 Mondays at the lovely Kings Place right by Kings Cross station - will be finished by 10.30 if you need to get a train. 10th Russell Howard and Sara Barron 

Do spread the word to other London-based RHLSTP fans and note IT’S NOT AT THE LEICESTER SQUARE THEATRE!

And there’s a thoughtful and honest RHLSTP with Matt Lucas out today.
It’s on audio here 
And on video here 

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