"You Have Been Watching" was being recorded at the Riverside studios in Hammersmith. This is where the last series of TMWRNJ was filmed. It is now over ten years since that finished. Scary stuff. It's also very nearly 20 years since Stew and me came to London to see if we could make it in the comedy business. Weirdly that seems twenty years ago, but it's hard to believe that only a decade has passed since we sat out on the patio by the river, drinking vodka and Red Bull all afternoon after each live show.
I sat out there again this evening with Rufus Hound, one of the other guests on the show, enjoying a barbecue in the sunshine. The barbecue was a nice touch and I foolishly mentioned to the booker for the show that I would happily have done the whole gig in return for this meal. Luckily I think they still have to pay me, but maybe it constitutes a verbal contract. Ah well, it was a nice barbecue.
There was a long queue for the food and Rufus and I were offered the opportunity to push to the front, but luckily neither of us are dicks and we waited our turn. The crew would rightly resent us if we ate out of turn. And maybe they'd think we were cool and down to earth guys if they knew we waited for our food, almost like we were ordinary people, rather than the massive celebrities that we clearly are. Annoyingly no one seemed to notice we had waited and I suspect that even if they had seen us they would have had little to no idea who we were. I thought about shouting at them "Look, I waited for my food. I was trying to humbly imply that I wasn't better than you, even though I clearly am. Applaud me you proles. Applaud me for my humility and selflessness."
I didn't though.
Anyway once we'd (finally) got our grub, Rufus and me sat on the patio and looked at the sunlight glinting off the Thames and I got a bit nostalgic for the old days and trotted out my usual crap about ultimately feeling quite fortunate that TMWRNJ hadn't been more successful, though how nice it was that so many younger comedians, producers and journalists were obviously into it at the time and held it in some affection. Rufus told me that as students him and a mate had come to an old Fist of Fun recording. As if to prove my point.
It felt good to be back here though and any bitterness that I once had about the poor treatment of that show by the BBC is gone and I just had happy memories of the post-show fun we'd had here a decade before. Or I would have done if I hadn't drunk so much vodka and Red Bull back then. Instead of memories there was just the slight half-feeling that a good time had been had. Nothing more than the echo of a dream. Like all that had occurred back then had been wiped from my brain in some kind of Total Recall style brain delete, but some vestige of it all hung on in the corner of my frazzled mind.
Jamelia was the other panelist, with Charlie Brooker in the chair (we were all in chairs, but he also had a desk, making him in charge). It was a most enjoyable evening and hopefully that will all translate to the screen. Although there were some early jitters when Charlie's ear-piece malfunctioned it was a remarkably relaxed affair and we were all able to do our bit without the "Mock the Week" style fear that someone was about to come thundering in to push us away from the mic so they could do their joke.
I was worried that my Hitler moustahce might detract, but it was addressed quite early on and I don't think it made much difference. The audience didn't appear too phased or upset by it and still laughed at some of my jokes.
Although we all knew the basics of what was going to happen (we'd been asked to watch specific TV shows after all), there were some real curve balls thrown in, such as when early on Jamelia and me had to read some quite complicated and unseen script from the autocue. I did pretty well at it.
But really that's just reading. One shouldn't get too impressed with oneself for being nearly 42 and having learned how to read.
Anyway I won't give too much away. You'll have to watch it on Tuesday (and see which bits of filth remain in the show). I think it's a great format and a bit more intelligent and original than most of the panel shows on TV. There are some astounding clips from other shows in there. I began to suspect that the "Deadliest Warrior" show we'd been asked to watch was an incredibly expensive hoax perpetrated by Brooker to mock us and TV in general. Apparently it's real, but like me, I think you will be astounded by some of the stuff that you'll see.
I drank a glass more wine that perhaps I had intended to, but still risked cycling the couple of miles home. Fortunately it passed with out incident. At least I think it did. Like the TMWRNJ post show sessions, the journey seems to have been wiped from my mind. Apologies if I ran anyone over and killed them.
Alas I was not allowed to wear my Virgilio Anderson T shirt on the show. I think there was enough to explain, what with the strange hairy slug on my top lip and the shirt would have been too distracting. But I will find some opportunity to wear it.
Hopefully those of you who ordered T shirts from GFS will get them soonish, but I don't think they are back from the factory yet. Probably some tiny third world babies are stitching in the words "Virgilio Anderson" as I write. As is my understanding of T shirt manufacture. Be patient my chickadees.
