I am pretty lucky as a stand up comedian, because it's not my main source of income so I can pick and choose which gigs I do. I would rather play a great club with a comedy literate crowd in return for some free drinks than have to appear at some of the better paid weekend clubs where most of my time might be spent in a gladitorial contest with a drunk stag night. Not that I don't respect the comics who do do that, because I do. It's just I am lucky enough to not have to do it, lucky because I'd be rubbish at it.
So tonight I played another fun club called "Spank" at the Albany pub opposite Great Portland Street. It's a popular and unusual comedy gig for a Friday night as the bill is mainly sketch acts and character stuff and occasional variety acts. Then afterwards there is a DJ and the audience hang around for a drink and a dance. It's terrific fun and you never quite know what will happen.
Tonight was no exception. It wasn't as packed as last time I appeared here, but the audience were enjoying themselves, though there did seem to be a drunk woman at the back who kept chipping in about it being "World Aids Day" and challenging the hosts to be amusing about this rather unamusing subject. "Come on, work with it," she insisted. Sensibly they mainly chose to ignore her.
At the close of the second part there was one of the most amazing acts I have seen for some time. She was called Hoola-Girl and did some spectacular things with five or six sparkly hoola-hoops, spinning on various parts of her body simultaneously. It was impressive and sexy and the crowd went mental for her. I was worried I would have to directly follow this, which would have been difficult. I am a short, plump man saying rude things and that would have been an anti-climax after this crazy colourful display of genuine skill. Plus she showed her knickers. I can't compete with that. Well I could, but no-one except the most desperate pervert would enjoy it.
The fun continued with a dance off between two audience members, won by another girl who managed another impromptu and sexy display, thankfully with no hoola-hoops so it was possible to go on afterwards and then I started with my stupid jokes.
It was going pretty well, but the audience seemed distracted. Sometimes from stage it's not possible to hear everything, but it finally became clear that the "World Aids Day" woman was round the corner in an alcove having a loud conversation with her friends. The audience turned on her, asking her to leave and an argument began to brew.
The woman was crapulously indignant, seemingly unable to see that she was clearly in the wrong. I saw her making her way towards the stage and suddenly she was up there with me, pontificating on her right to do what she wanted. The audience were not convinced by this display and aside from her friends the unanimous mood was that she should leave. She seemed to be incredulous that I wouldn't give her the microphone, though I was enjoying someone make such a fool of themself with no awareness of how they looked or were coming across. It was one person so out of tune with the mood of the evening that I didn't really mind her staying up there and digging herself in deeper. But the hosts Leon and James came on to the stage to get rid of her. Although this would have been unusual at any other gig, at Spank it was all part of the joy of the night. They insisted the woman left and even gave her and her party their money back, which they really didn't deserve.
They went out, carrying on their insistence that they were in the right and one of them claiming to be a reviewer, telling the boys that they had made a mistake. I doubt that she was really and none of them were in any state to judge the gig or even remember it. But if you see a review anywhere criticising the night then you will know that it is not the truth. This is a brilliant club and you must go along if you get the chance.
The rest of my time flew along and I had such a good time. Then as an extra treat Hoola-girl did another dance, in which she played a smoking, vodka drinking, stripping, spewing drunk (appropriately) who for some reason was spinning loads of Hoola-hoops around on her limbs and body. It was spectacular. You can't get better entertainment than this. Unrestricted joy, now free of the one negative prescence in the room.
Perhaps unwisely,I stayed and danced and drank and had more fun. Hey it was Friday night and I think we should just ignore the fact that I had spent yesterday partying. I deserved to relax! Ha ha!
