Not enough books acknowledge the penises part in shaping the history of the world. Not only has every human that ever existed, begun their life by shooting out the end of a cock, (as well as many of us spending a significant proportion of our time thinking about either the needs of our cock or our need for a cock) but attitudes to the male sex organ have shaped all human cultural development in ways that you can only begin to imagine.
Or ways that you can only begin to imagine until you have read this erudite, fascinating, entertaining and shocking book.
He explains how Christianity (and more specifically St Augustine) helped to turn the penis into a thing of shame, a literal devil’s rod, when before it had been a symbol of joy and religious worship. He introduces us to the god Atum, who Egyptians believed, created all living things by having one off the wrist and is quoted as saying “My fist became my spouse. I copulated with my hand”. For me that shits all over the ten commandments. At last a religion that acknowledges that God is a wanker.
Friedman takes us through the penis’' part in war, from the the Egyptian Pharoah Merneptah who inscribed the walls of Karnak with the exact figures of the number of Libyan penises he had cut off (6,359 if you’re interested) right through to President Lyndon Johnson, who, when continually asked to explain why the United States was still at war in Vietnam, finally pulled out his knob and said “This is why!” Maybe Clinton was trying to make the same point.
There are surprises galore. I had been aware that masturbation had been discouraged by religion, but had not realised the part played by science in turning one of my favourite pastimes into a mortal sin. We are told about Samuel-August Tissot who wrote “Onanism: Or a Treatise on the Maladies Produced by Masturbation”. These maladies included “ a weakening of the digestive and respiratory apparatus, sterility, rheumatism, tumours, gonorrhea, priapism (prolonged erection) and an often irreversible decline of the nervous system, up to an including blindness and insanity”. If you want to find out how such arguments led directly to the circumcision of generations of American men then you will have to read the book.
A fascinating and terrifying chapter explains how arly explorers of Africa succeeded in making the natives appear dangerous and animalistic by exaggerating the dimensions of their members. They argued that this made them more akin to gorillas than humans (even though in actual fact gorillas have very small penises). This was the birth of the myth that is still prevalent today, and although it is a stereotype that black men may claim not to mind about, once you realise its origins it is much less amusing. Such ideas also directly led to the Ku Klux Klan kidnapping black men suspected of having consensual sex with white women and forcing them to cut off their own penises.
Freud and Viagra also come in for some expert analysis and we get a fascinating insight into menÂ’s vulnerability as well as to what extent men think with their dicks. ItÂ’s engrossing and illuminating and fiendishly intelligent and well researched. Having read every book currently published about manÂ’s best friend, I can tell you that this excellent tome is the only one worth buyingÂ…. At least until my book on the subject is published!
R
