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Sunday 2nd February 2025

8091/21022
(I think I have spotted a couple of misnumbering errors in recent weeks, and so have corrected here. Ironically what I thought was my 21000th day on the planet was actually my 21001st. And who knows what other errors I have missed over the years. In fact I've just googled it and I think today is my 21025th day alive (or maybe 21026th) Shit. And November 25th 2002 to February 2nd 2025 is apparently 8105 days- which I think might make this entry 8106. My whole life has turned upside down. I don't know what to do any more.
Are there any mathematicians who can give me a definitive answer on this. I was born on July 12th 1967 (and my first pet was called Oscar), so how many days have I been alive today? And I started this blog on 25th November 2002 and have done an entry every day, so what does that make today's entry number? Obviously 25th November 2002 is 1 rather than 0 which I am not sure Google takes into account.
I have two A levels in Maths and can't work this out. If I've got it wrong it will make the whole idea of numbering my blogs and days on the planet look ridiculous.


February is the longest month. Especially if you're not eating Soleros. Here's my update on how that's going for me
The most dangerous thing about this is that it upsets the balance of my diet. Whilst I thought cutting out a Solero might reduce my calorific intake, it could well do the opposite. I had a guaranteed 98 calorie dessert for lunch (or mid-morning snack if live was especially tough) but now I have to think of a different pudding and what if it is higher in calories or worse, one of the foods that sends me spiralling and causes me to empty the treat drawer in the food cupboard down my gullet?
I must not think of the personal cost however. All that matters is that I raise money for Scope. The totaliser currently stands at an amazing 0% of the way to the target. Never fear though. The Universe has a funny way of making things happen. For example if I die this week, then a nation, united in grief, will donate money in my memory and we'll exceed the total ten fold. Also if I die that will make not eating Soleros a lot easier. Though I suspect grieving fans might place them on my grave and melted Solero might seep through the earth and go into my mouth, negating all my hard work.
It says something about my Solero addiction that that seems quite an appealing prospect right now. At least I'd get to taste those sweet, sweet Soleros. Though I'd require a coffin with a sieve like lid I suppose. I'll let to planning my burial just in case. Perhaps a funnel leading directly to my open mouth would be the best way to do it, with a sign saying "Insert Soleros here".
I am now thinking that the best thing to do might be to fake my death, get buried and eat all the Soleros in the world. I could use the funnel as a breathing tube. The only danger being that the grief stricken public will fill the funnel to the top and I will drown in Solero. Which is a good way to go. But when the subterfuge is discovered and the public find out I wasn't dead at all, though am now, I think the mood will shift against me, which might affect charity donations. So for now at least, I must stay strong. Two days? Are you fucking kidding me. At least this is a better way to prolong my life than taking out all my plasma (or whatever that translucent skinned billionaire is up to now) - no Soleros turns every day into a life time.
Save me from dying, or faking my own death or faking my own death and then drowning in melted Solero by donating here. Though it would make for a great wikipedia entry if that's how I go.


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