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Sunday 21st October 2018


After tweeting about our second place in the quiz last night, I had a fun exchange with one of the members of the winning team (who by the way, had 10 people on their team, when everyone else had 8). She claimed that it would have been 3 points if the compilers had done their research. They had said that the answer to the question, “Which organ develops first in a human foetus?” was the heart (that’s what we said, so actually if this answer was wrong, then the Cheating Ten (as everyone in the village is calling them) would have won by four, and even if we had played our joker on”First and Last” rather than “Toys” then we’d only have come joint first.
She sent a link to which said that scientist claimed that babies start as an anus. She added “unless you got anus as well.” Which wasn’t a phrase I expected to be tweeted why a neighbour.
I was pretty sure that an anus is merely an opening, not an organ, but googled to check this and was proven right, so tweeted back, "Ah but the anus is an opening not an organ. I will content myself with knowing we got most questions right but were defeated by bad joker round

Oh yes, I went there.
She replied with a link to Quora that listed the anus as a “sexual organ” saying "I am at a disadvantage because I don’t understand Twitter but the internet is keen to say that the anus is a multi function organ of great importance. And now I’m late for church…
Which was maybe the best thing that has happened to me this year.
I said, "Don’t let God hear you call it a sexual organ. Don’t think that was His intention
She replied, "Anal sex very rarely crops up on the 3rd Sunday in the month (Family Service)
I love living in the countryside.

Anyway, as much as I enjoyed debating whether an anus was an organ with a relative stranger on Twitter, it was my wife’s birthday today, so we had some celebrating to do. We went to Catie’s parents for lunch where we ate pickled Herring - four or five different types,  both a pun on four of the six people in the room’s surname (and two of them’s favourite activity), but also from Norway, where my wife (and my children - oh my God, what have I done. At least they’re not in the EU) have some ancestors.
I haven’t had that much pickled herring in my time, because I am not a cannibal, but it was good stuff.
Tonight we were knackered, but I made my wife some nice toasted sandwiches and we drank champagne in front of our first open fire of the season and watched Doctor Who. It wasn’t exactly the birthday treat that my wife deserved, but it was still pretty enjoyable. I didn’t tell her that I’d been discussing anal sex with a stranger on line. I wouldn’t be the first comedian to destroy their relationship by doing something inappropriate on their partner’s birthday.

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