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Our baby is very inconsiderate and has picked up a virus on a week when both my wife and I are pretty busy and we could both really do with some sleep. But we’re taking it in turns to spend the night with Phoebe and last night was my turn, so I was pretty much out of it for the whole day. I was never really into taking drugs, but I can’t imagine any hallucinogen that could trump having to go about your day after 3 hours of sleep in 10 minute sections. Nor one that makes me feel as content as I did when, even after all this, I spent the latter part of the early morning cuddling my stupid baby in bed. It’s a rollercoaster ride.
I can’t be sure anything that happened today is actually real or whether it was just a lack of sleep induced hallucination. But as most of the day was taken up with collating my receipts for the tax man, I kind of hope it wasn’t an hallucination. Partly because that means that I’d have to do the whole thing again and partly because I’d like to think I would have more trippy and less mundane hallucinations.
I did a try out of some of my new material in a member’s club tonight, which went quite well, but as a payment I was given some food and drink. I sat at a table for one in the corner of the bar and ate a cheeseburger and chips and drank a glass of beer and I am not sure anything has made me happier all year. I know that this year encompasses the birth and first ten months of my baby’s life, but I still stand by that statement. Just to sit down for twenty minutes, indulge myself and not have to talk to a living soul or clean faeces off anyone’s anus, it was almost magical. My wife went for a day of pampering the other week, but all I need is half an hour, alone with too much food and a nice beer and I think that I am in Heaven.
None of this would mean anything if the rest of my life was different. All those times that in the past where I sat and ate food and had a small amount of alcohol meant nothing, because I could have done them at any time. And back then I would have been sitting at a table alone, hoping someone might take an interest in me and whisk me off into the night for an adventure of some disgusting kind. But now, I was actually worried that that might happen or at least that someone might try, because that would disturb my reverie and I’d just have to tell them to go away anyway. Because nothing they had on offer could be as good as eating a cheeseburger and having a beer, whilst technically being much too tired to be out of the house. And then going home to my sleeping family.
None of you know what pleasure is until you have such responsibility. It’s only then that being irresponsible has any meaning. And let me tell you, my friends, it is beautiful. As long as you limit it to 20-30 minutes and are around to make good on your responsibilities henceforth.
If you missed the RHLSTP kickstarter, we have a limited number of extra reward DVDs which feature me interviewing myself for an hour, plus an hour of backstage interviews with the series 7 guests, which could previously only be viewed by badge subscribers. The DVD is the perfect Christmas gift if you really want to confuse someone who has never heard of me and all the money from it will go towards funding the filming of series 9.
