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Saturday 10th February 2018
Saturday 10th February 2018

Saturday 10th February 2018

5555/18575
Could I have even dreamed 15 and a bit years ago that my 5555th consecutive entry would share a date with my first child’s third birthday? Yes I could. And if you read the first entry again you will see I clearly predicted it.
Which landmark was more important?
Obviously the 5555th entry. A third birthday is just an arbitrary and meaningless date that probably shouldn’t be celebrated at all.

But my daughter arrogantly assumed she was more important, so we had a party at a local soft play place. None of us are at peak fitness and Phoebe has been falling asleep at 5pm this week, so we hoped that she’d stay awake for this late afternoon celebration. Luckily she did and I think everyone had a good time in the chaos. A boy called Miles tried to become my friend inside the soft play and to be honest I would quite liked to have hung around with him going up poles and down slides for the rest of the day, but I have responsibilities and society thinks it is weird for a 50 year old man to be friends with a 7 year old boy, so I politely declined. But I admired him for his lack of shyness or decision to judge me by my age. I wish I’d played with him now.
The highlight of the party was a rabbit birthday cake (made because Phoebe had said she was having a bunny party) with the head of the rabbit coming out the top of the cake and his feet coming out the side. It looked incredible, but it was difficult to cut in a room full of kids. How would they feel if they saw a huge knife slicing through the brain of this cartoonish chum? But the rabbit’s head was the only way in. And my wife was clinical in her dissection. And none of the kids seemed to mind. “Can I eat the eye?” asked one of them. I guess they can tell the difference between pretend and reality. Or they’re all psychopaths. Probably both.
But I think this lobotomised bunny should  be on display in an art gallery somewhere depicting the loss of innocence…
Somehow with the help of a lot of coffee we got through the day. Obviously it’s hard to believe that three years have passed since she emerged screaming into the world. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you where she emerged from. It was insane.
Just another 5000 or so days and she’ll be leaving home (yeah, by then kids will have to share houses with their parents until they’re 50). I mean that doesn’t seem all that long, but when you think it’s about the length of time this blog has run, then hopefully I have some time to enjoy her company just yet. 
She’s a delight to be around right now: funny and cheeky and chatting and singing away. Her uncle Duncan bought her a cricket set which she immediately took to, even though we played quite gently indoors. When Duncan was proving hard to get out she asked him to move to the side to give her a better shot at the stumps. She’s no idiot.

Joining Trev and Simon on the 19th Feb RHLSTP will be Labour MP Jess Phillips - book here. Not many tickets left (and all sold out for the 12th Feb).


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My new stand up show, Oh Frig I'm 50 is at on tour from February til June 2018. There's also a new series of RHLSTP with recordings every Monday from February 5th to April 2nd All details of shows here.
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