We headed home early after dinner as I am recording an episode of Argumental tomorrow (should be on Dave in November), though I was glad to get away. I've enjoyed the rest, but the place was beginning to feel a bit claustrophobic.
We listened to the radio. There was a documentary on Radio 4 about all the stuff that happened on September 10th 2001. I think the person who put that show together might have misread the briefing. Honestly if they'd chosen one day later there would have been shit loads to talk about. Even the day after that would have had some proper news. But September 10th 2001 was rubbish. Radio 4 idiots!
I then turned over to Radio 2 just in time to hear Terry Wogan talking in front of a massive live crowd somewhere. He prattled on and it sounded like an element in the audience were shouting "Off! Off! Off!"
Wow, I thought, this is an amazing moment - Wogan being heckled off live on the radio - maybe there'd be some kind of incident that would be worth making a documentary about in 10 years time, but then Wogan introduced Rolf Harris and I realised the crowd had been shouting "Rolf! Rolf! Rolf!" We'd chanced across Prom in the Park and the 81 year old entertainer was about to come on and perform in front of a group of people a quarter of his age (some probably some a 10th of this age) who were waiting to see Westlife. And yet I think they might have chosen the wrong headliner for this gig (and not just because Westlife are unquestionably shit) because the reception this guy got was awesome and deserved. And it wasn't all just irony or patronising an old man - in fact it was hardly that at all and if it was then the old man was more than in on the joke - Rolf gave an exuberant performance, full of wit and charm that would have shamed someone half his age due to the sheer dynamism and energy. He breezed through his standards - Tie me Kangaroo Down, Sun Arise and the brilliant Stairway to Heaven - a performance with more layers of irony than Jerry Sadowitz. Are we laughing at an old man doing a cheesy version of a classic song that he doesn't realise is about drugs, or is he laughing at us by pretending to fail to understand, or are we laughing along with him because none of us are quite sure about what is going on? "Ooooh and it makes me wonder.... how does it affect you blokes?" is one of the most enduringly funny lines I have ever heard. And then he performed "Two Little Boys" which is one of the first, if not the very first, record I remember hearing and singing. So hearing it over 40 years later makes nostalgic for childhood not just because of the words in the song, but the very playing of the song itself. Layers of nostalgia as well as irony. And the singer himself provides another layer because he has been a constant presence in the life of anyone of my generation. One who somehow transcends adolescent rebellion, because he is impervious to post-modern sneering. I found tears welling up in my eyes as I drove. Out of nostalgia, out of confusion about where the irony was, out of respect for this remarkable man who has painted the Queen, encouraged a generation of kids to swim by waving goodbye with his foot ("Get him!"), by wobbling a board and promoting a tiny synthesiser, by presenting TV programmes throughout six decades, by asking us if we could see what it was yet, by being 81 and still remaining as sharp and full of fun. He's a fool and a genius and he's seemingly immortal. I hope he can keep going for another two decades. Superstar. He closed with "Tie Me Kangaroo Down" to the tune of Land of Hope and Glory. Unbelievable.
Then Westlife came on and started singing a Billy Joel song really badly, but luckily we had arrived home so didn't have to listen to them. I wonder if any of them will still be going when they're 81.
Of course they fucking won't. If they're still going when they're 80 I am going to murder them all. Out of respect for Rolf. Who I hope will still be going then too.
