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Saturday 11th November 2017
Saturday 11th November 2017

Saturday 11th November 2017

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Our neighbours invited us round for breakfast - that never happened in Shepherd’s Bush- which was the perfect mid-morning trip as it only involved getting ourselves ten feet out of the front door. Everyone is very friendly here and it’s not too Brexitty (though it’s more Brexitty than London) and they were all hungover from last night and we were hungover from having a five week old baby (and also having drunk some alcohol), so it was pretty chilled out.
But we had friends coming up from town to see us, so I had to go from a big breakfast to preparing a roast chicken lunch. We’re doing about one of these a week now, so I am getting pretty good at it, but experimented today by using chilli oil with the roast sweet potatoes. It wasn’t chilli enough for my liking, but everyone seemed happy with the massive feed. And I increasingly like the idea of staying at home and getting better at cooking and learning DIY (or at least how to smash things more efficiently). 
I managed to crack on with 160 Christmas Emergency Questions books with bonus questions in them. My favourite was, “If you had to have a threesome with two of the three kings - if you had to - which king would be left out of the fun?” I wonder who will get that one. When I wrote the book I didn’t think I’d get to 500 questions just about Christmas and decided to do about 275 Xmas ones to 225 regular ones. But by the time this is done I will be pretty close to having written 500. Limiting yourself to one subject is quite a good way to encourage invention. I was surprised I was still coming up with funny questions in a subject that I thought I’d exhausted. But then with Emergency Questions the more you have to push it, the weirder and funnier they become.
@oldmanstorr sent me one of those Face App things. It was interesting to see how close I am to being handsome (I don’t know what filter has actually been applied on the second photo - it has a sun on it, so maybe it’s just what I’d look like if I lived in Italy. I wish I looked like that. Instead I already look like the old version of myself. But I was rather taken with the female version of myself. I don’t know if anyone has yet fallen in love with a face app version of themselves. But I want to marry that woman and would happily leave my wife and kids to do so. If someone can make that happen. I suspect the Twilight Zone version of all of this would be that I ended up marrying the female version of myself and then when we finally got to bed I discovered that only the face was female and the rest of “her” was my exact, old, flabby, male body. But to be honest as long as she has that face then I am not bothered. In fact I’d prefer it if she had my body.


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