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In many ways it was a crime against God and nature to cut up the original Self-playing snooker board to sell the pieces to gullible fans. In one way though it is a chance for fans of this fine example of transgressive art to own a piece of that art and one that is almost certain to be worth millions in years to come. From the sale of the first five bits of the snooker board it would seem we are on course to almost cover the costs of transportation, skilful cutting and assembly, but this was never about making money. Although I did hope we'd make money. It was a lot of work for no money. Losing money on this is part of the transgressive art. Making the pieces even more valuable.
But what it was about was giving the people who like the podcast the chance to own a piece of it and to impress their friends (if applicable). Imagine going round to someone's house, seeing a snooker pocket displayed on a plinth and asking what it is and then being told. You would be gob-smacked.
There are plenty more bits on the way and we're also going to be selling signed balls too (snooker, not extracted, though maybe I should have ebayed that) and we want to make sure that everyone who receives something from this insane sale can be confident that they are not getting fobbed off with a knock-off Holy Relic. There are enough pieces of the true cross floating around to make a forest of crosses, but that's because Jesus and his disciples didn't offer certification with each purchase and also possible because Jesus magicked up a load more bits when the first batch sold out.
So if you buy a piece of snooker history, please do ensure it comes with proper paperwork. There are a lot of charlatans out there trying to take advantage of vulnerable people who will give away their money for any old piece of shit. Don't be taken in by charlatans.
Anyway there should be another batch of stuff up soon, but today Me1 and Me2 made a rare appearance in my kitchen to sign all the certificates of authenticity that Chris Evans (not that one) had special deliveryed to me overnight. I special deliveryed them back, so we spent £20 just on that and that doesn't even factor in the cost of the fancy certificate paper and printing. It's a testament to us as businessmen that we care more about creating something that looks great than making money. Another testament is us being evicted from our homes for failing to pay our mortgages. BUt it's all part of the art. And imagine how much more all this will be worth when we are dead.
Chris wanted to spend £15 each on display cases for the snooker balls, but I talked him down. You should never spend more on the display case than the thing inside is worth. A £15 display case deserves to be in its own display case. But if you spend more on the display case than the display case inside it, then you will distract attention away from the original display case and then also need to put the second display case in a display case and as you've already established that the exterior display case must be more expensive you end up in an unbreakable chain that will only end with the exhaustion of all the money in the world and have an exterior display case bigger than the solar system.
Believe me, no one is going to put the display cases that we've ended up with in a display case.
So you are safe and can enjoy your signed snooker ball (that actually featured in nearly all the podcasts) in peace. And then show it to your friends. Who will be gobsmacked. But not by the display case. Unless they know a lot about display cases, in which case they might be gobsmacked to see one that costs so little.
