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Chris on Bluesky sent me this picture of Solero in a tub, no doubt to taunt me and I don't think it's a coincidence that this would come out the month that I choose to stop. Ian Walls knows what he's doing. Arguably this is a loophole for me. I said I wouldn't eat A Solero, I didn't say I wouldn't eat SOME Solero. Without the outside bit is it even a Solero?
Sadly I did vow to not eat any kind of iced dessert, and I think Solero ice cream falls into that Venn diagram. The real beauty of a Solero is that it comes in a satisfying 98 calorie bag. To be given almost unlimited Solero and a spoon is a dangerous place for the Solero addict. I fear this new development will only create more of us.
As amused as I am by the idea of someone going to a Peter Kay gig and shouting "Garlic Bread" at him repeatedly, I have to take the side of the comedian over the heckler, even a benign, if stupid one. The skill with heckling is to get one pithy, funny, unbeatable joke in, get your laugh and then rest of your laurels. In the unlikely event you manage to say something that is both coherent and funny (it happens occasionally) then it's the law of diminishing returns. If you think you can be as funny as the person on stage (even if you are funnier than them, everyone has paid to see that person and not you and is unlikely to switch allegiance unless things have gone really badly).
Most of all, expect to be insulted if you try this. There's a chance that the comic will have to admit you've done a great heckle and you can walk out with your head held high, but most likely you are going to be outwitted by someone who does this for a job and probably pulled apart at the same time.
The problem is when people are too drunk or coked up to realise what they are doing. Which seems to happen more these days, but was always the case.
I've had some experience with annoying hecklers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtjx-yplqTw - in fact this might be my most viewed piece of material ever (if you add in the viewers for the extended version it might top views of any of my TV shows). This gig came at the end of a full week of difficult gigs and the rest of the evening had gone smoothly with the audience sitting patiently through a very long sketch which wasn't exactly packed with jokes, so I assumed I'd be OK, but then this guy sprang into life (I'd encountered him earlier trying to wheedle his way into the dressing room where the burlesque dancers were with an autograph book).
It's the mixture of wit and genuine annoyance and increasing nastiness that make it a study in heckling and the acts reaction to it. It's easy for an act to lose their temper when provoked, especially if it's been a tough week. Kay basically does in his one and you can see the fury dancing in my eyes in that video. We just want to do our stuff, make the people who aren't too drunk to think have a laugh and then go home.
So whilst most comedians deserve to have their catchphrase shouted at them for 90 minutes. If you attempt it, you're going to get thrown out pretty quickly. And be told who you resemble as you're thrown out.
Could Kay have prevented it all, just by doing a few garlic breads of his own and given the man what he wanted? Could he have lived with himself if he had?
Talking to a comedian the other night at the party I was reminded of an early gig at (I am pretty sure) the Bear Cat in Twickenham, I was introduced as the open spot and heckled and booed by every member of the audience before I'd even stepped on stage. I bravely did my set against a barage of unbeatable noise and I think did my time. I didn't hang around to chat with the other comics after or ask the promoter if I could have a full 20 (though I did return for a more successful open spot where the heckling was a bit lighter and I turned the audience round with my ad libs). I walked to the train station and sat waiting half an hour for the next train and sobbed my little heart out. I guess I was thinking my dreams of being a comedian were going to come to nothing, but also as wonderful and terrifyingly confidence boosting it is to have an audience in the palm of your hands, having them turn on you is something that we're not designed to cope with.
Those early 90s were a tough time. Also the mid 90s and late 90s. The early noughties were pretty tough psychologically too and the mid to late noughties bad also. And let's not talk about the 2010s. It's too early to judge the 2020s, but early indications are not great.
