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Sunday 11th April 2021

6707/19627

Tonight I appeared on the Off Menu The Redemption Dinner Party, (You can still pay to watch it here) giving me a chance to think again about the rash decisions I made in the original Off Menu just over a year ago (it felt like we were already a way into lockdown then, but boy did we have a long way to go. We still might)
I had eaten a Solero a couple of hours before, which might sound like the kind of thing I’d normally do, but ice cream has generally speaking gone on my list of don’t (or rarely) eats and my sugar in take has been low and so the sugar rush gave me a nice buzz. We talked about whether the first person to drink moon water will be as well remembered as Neil Armstrong, how that disastrous holiday of 20 years ago - where I ate delicious lobster, but everything else went wrong - might have set me on the journey to testicular cancer (Right Bollock made an appearance too) and the Richard Herring baked potato. I didn’t have time to tell them that I wanted my bread course changed to bread delivered by the surviving cast of Bread.
It turns out that many of the Off Menu listeners believed Ed and James’ throwaway joke from last time, that I was a viewer who had won a competition to appear on their show and had then (seemingly) not understood what the show was and made a load of weird choices. The boys enjoyed taking the piss out of my lack of fame and James wondered how those people felt when I turned up on Taskmaster - that competition winner again! How’s he doing it? I have managed the delicate balancing act of working constantly for 30 years, but remaining unknown. It’s the perfect crime.
It was a lot of fun, both watching the other guests and chatting to these two loveable idiots. 

I cashed in some of yesterday’s winnings and then had a little go at online roulette and won another £100. I banked it, leaving just enough to bet £5 on Spurs winning 2-1. But I must remember the law that if I bet on 2-1 Spurs, then that’s the only time it doesn’t happen. It was looking good (with the referee kindly helping me by ruling out a definite Man United goal), but then Man United scored two more and as much as the referee wanted me to win £40 (I’d promised him ten), he couldn’t keep cheating.

We’ve started experimenting with putting ads on our YouTube videos. We should probably have done it years ago, but it always felt like it wasn’t worth the small payback. But then I saw we’d had something like 3 million views in a year and thought that maybe it might be worth doing. I think that that will still only bring in around about £8000 a year, but that will pay to film three or four RHLSTPs when we’re back in theatres. 
Anyway, YouTube has put ads on RHLSTP, the snooker and even stone clearing, but apparently for some reason it has ascertained that Twitch of Fun is not suitable for ads. I don’t know why. I mean it’s surely more commercial than stone clearing and it’s no ruder than RHLSTP. I can only guess that YouTube is prejudiced against puppets, but who knows? Youtube seems a bit random. It’s banned Chris Evans (not that one) and refuses to tell him why. Perhaps they think he is a puppet.
Anyway I find it funny that it’s been picked out (consensus on Twitter is that it might be because the show includes puppets and thus looks like kids might watch it - either that or they object to Twitch being in the title). We’re losing something like 50p a week in revenue so it’s not really a biggy.


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