6380/19300
Only 700 days to my 20,000th day on earth. Wonder if we’ll still be in lockdown.
This week I won a lucky dip lottery ticket from a lucky dip lottery ticket that I’d won on Saturday. You get one from matching 2 numbers - a free go on the next lottery. But because the lucky dip is different numbers every time (it’s a lucky dip) there is the possibility (and I suppose there would be even if it was the same numbers, though would be weird if the same six numbers kept coming up in pairs for very long) that you could just keep matching 2 numbers draw after draw. I wondered what the longest run of winning a lucky dip from a lucky dip has been. You should win a million if you can do it 20 times in a row.
I also think that the lottery should institute a policy where if you get a line of numbers you’ve chosen and buy a lucky dip as well and your line matches the lucky dip then you win £5 million (or something like that). It’s obviously the same odds as winning the lottery, but might encourage people to get an extra line (it might also discourage people to get more than 2 lines, but that wouldn’t be a bad thing, though you could exponentially lower the jackpot if there were four lines and one lucky dip and one of your lines matched). Come on Ian Lottery - you know this makes sense. It must happen one in fourteen millions times (I think the odds might be higher now). And if you actually match your lines and then win the jackpot with those numbers then you should get to own the lottery, like some kind of gambling based Charlie Bucket.
I went for the first big supermarket shop in what must be 3 weeks or more (I popped in on the day of my car MOT but only for a few basics because I had an hour to kill and had a long way to walk back to the car). There’s still no flour in the supermarkets (another win for our local shop) but the really bad news is that there are no Soleros. This thing has gone too far now. I am going to have to make do with shop brand strawberry mivvis. And it’s not the same. Let’s overthrow this terrible government NOW. Why does everything bad happen to ME?
Having spoken to Richard Osman about him being the unit of social distancing yesterday I was surprised to not that the two metre strips on the way into the supermarket did not look like they were a Richard Osman apart. They looked much more like a Richard Herring to me, though I stopped short of lying down to check. Maybe Richard Osman isn’t as long lying down as I imagine and maybe an imaginary idea of how big he is isn’t as good a measuring system as a tape measure. It’s probably good that we imagine he is longer than he is, but I still stayed one and a half marks behind the next person just in case. Because I have a feeling the person putting out the tape at Waitrose in Hitchin had mixed their Dicks up.
Other than that it was another blurry day of looking after the kids for me and not understanding how it was possible that it was Thursday again.
It wasn't the toughest of days, but I was exhausted after the snooker and a bout of Civ 2 (not a virus, but it might as well be). I was going to bed but my Drunk Woman wife was just finishing her podcast record and I had a couple of glasses of wine with her and watched Charlie Brooker's Anti-Bacterial Wipe, which was excellent and gave me a massive and cathartic laugh and made the world seem like a better (and much more terrible) place. It absolutely skewered how badly we all (but especially the government) responded to this crisis and should be included with all future history books on the subject. For now just watch it on iPlayer.
Had a lovely time a couple of weeks ago chatting to the excellent Brett Goldstein for Films To Be Buried With (since then I’ve done the non-director’s commentaries for Sliding Doors and Total Recall)
You can now listen to our chat here
