Warming Up

Having kids means you do things that you wouldn’t usually do or haven’t done for years. Before 8 this morning, Phoebe, Catie and me had a dance to Adele in Phoebe’s bedroom. I was never the kind of person to stay up all night to dance. But it’s fun to have a little dance in the morning. You can do it if you don’t have kids, but you might not think to do so.

Later I would pick Phoebe up from nursery and as we left she saw her friends playing on the school field, rolling down a steep bank. “Can I roll down the bank too?” She asked.

“Yeah, of course,” I said and she ran off to join the other giggling four year olds as they got high on grass. It was lovely to see them having such fun. Phoebe loved it, “Do you want a go, daddy?” She asked.

I didn’t even have to think about it. And I didn’t think about it. “Yeah, why not?” I shouted and left Ernie on the playground in his pram and rushed up to join them. I loved being four and have never quite got over not being four anymore. And why wouldn’t you want to roll down a bank?

I should have thought about it, of course, because I’d forgotten that I am very nearly 52 and my body is not as limber and indestructible as it was 48 years ago. And also I am a lot heavier. So I went down the steep bank very quickly, my arms rattling against me or the ground or something - it was hard to work out what was going on, but I don’t remember arms getting in the way when I was little, even though I am 96% certain that I had some.

I was buffeted around, as the other parents cheered may stupidity and finally came to a stop, feeling dizzy and confused, but hardly in pain at all (I had forgotten about my bad arm, which is nearly better now after nine months of pain - and it was aching a bit again) and exhilarated and happy. It was brilliant. 

I don’t think I’ll ever do it again, because I have now remembered how old I am and I will count myself lucky that I walked away from this one. But glad to do it one last time.

And I am pretty sure I can tell you the last time I rolled down a bank- it was almost exactly 15 years ago, during my 50 dates in 50 days. Back then I didn’t really have to worry about hurting myself and I was more worried about my phone (which didn’t even cross my mind this time), but it was similarly life-affirming.

Once again, you don’t have to have a kid to do this (but probably don’t go and join in with four year olds unless one of them is your kid), but you wouldn’t think of doing it unless a kid prompted you. 

Today my daughter paid for herself. But that’s the first time in the 52 months she’s been alive. Ooooh, I’m almost exactly 12 times as old as her.