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I ate 30 different plants just TODAY. That's what Zoe says you're aiming for in a week. Fuck you Zoe. Come back when you're playing seriously.
I am not the only person to point out that the Reverend Dr Paul Chamberlain (even if you're both mate, choose one to be - saying both just makes you look like an arsehole- as does telling kids that Santa doesn't exist) also believes in something that might not be actually real. And has made that into his job. And he's not 10 or 11, he's an adult. I am going to tell him that God doesn't exist and that when we die there's nothing. I hope I make him cry.
And of course regardless of whether you think that someone in Year 6 should have worked out the truth about Santa (and also God) it's something that you want to navigate gently, within the family. Not coming from someone who has based their whole life on believing in someone who no one can see, who will give rewards to people who are good and punish people who are bad. At least Santa doesn't claim to be everywhere at once (though he is very quick) and Santa never sent a massive flood to kill nearly everybody because he was pissed off at them for failing to behave properly (though Santa threatens to withhold presents from the naughty, he never actually does, though he does seem to give better presents to kids from wealthy families, which suggests he's on the make).
Having witnessed my own daughter have the rug pulled away from her recently and then convinced her that she has nothing to worry about, this story actually hit me a bit harder (as laughable as the Rev Dr's lack of self awareness is). Her tears were real, even though I know she'd had doubts. Because 10 and 11 year olds, I think, know in their heart that Santa and magic and fairies are probably not real (Phoebe recently told me that all fairies are fake, except for the Tooth Fairy), they enjoy the suspension of belief and they, maybe more than the younger kids, want to hold on to being little and believing in Santa. They enjoy the suspension of belief, just like you do when you're watching a TV show and laughing or crying over the entirely made-up fate of a character. You have cried over the death of someone entirely fictional, as an adult and you really felt that sorrow, even if, when you step back from it you'd understand that nobody died and in fact none of the people you care about on the fantasy plane were ever even alive. The Rev Dr is all ready to come in and say, Walter White isn't real, it was just some writers who created him and the bloke from Malcolm in the Middle pretending to be him. He's also pretending to be the bloke from Malcolm in the Middle.
I think this is the last Christmas that my daughter will more or less believe in Santa and I hope my son has a couple more Christmases in him (though Phoebe is 100% going to tell him so that she can make him cry and she's not even a reverend, let alone a doctor). So please don't ruin it for either of them in the days running up to Christmas. At least wait til Boxing Day.
There's a lot more evidence for Santa than there is for God and he actually definitely existed at some point. No one started or justified a war over Santa (I hope). So if we're debunking then let's start with the stuff that, if you study it, really comes from nothing. Or let's let people believe whatever crazy made up shit they want, at least for the first 12 years, before they have to start living in the horrible and wonderful real world.
Still as angry as I am, part of me admires the Reverend Doctor, not for his double titles but for the absolute brass bollocks on the man. You can't deny he's a man of conviction.
