Hope you like the new layout. It's a bit jollier than the Hitler one, hey? Only three weeks now until the book launch. Have you pre-ordered your copy yet? Click on the book on the right hand side to order if from Amazon. Though current lowest price that I know of comes from
Play.com.
Click on the box on the left and you can see some videos I have made to promote the book and also details of the book readings (the Manchester one, I am afraid, has been postponed due to the general election, but should be rescheduled). I am very excited to see how the book goes down with you all. Now that I haven't died (though there is still time) I am going to have to rely on word of mouth to spread the news, so please help out if you can. If it sells well they might let me do another one and the more paid work I get the more free stuff I can continue to dole out.
Managed to get my train back from York without incurring any further costs and was back in time to record
Podcast 107 with that fucking idiot Andrew Collings and you'll be delighted to hear I hardly let him speak at all. But then he is getting to do the 6Music show without me (but with some chancer called Michael Legge) on Saturday as I am heading up to Whitby (and then Darlington) for the fourth (and third) last performances of Hitler Moustache.
I enjoyed discussing whether padded bras for 7 year olds was paedo heaven. I felt that if anything giving 7 year olds the appearance of having breasts would put paedophiles off having sex with them. They fancy kids, not adults. In fact I wondered if it might be a better policy to deter paedophiles to insist that all children dress like adults and are sexualised and insist they are over 18. Then paedophiles will have no one to have sex with and will just wither away and die. You may call be a dreamer, but we live in desperate times when paedophiles are lurking on every street corner and down every manhole and inside every bin and the only way to stop them is to make them believe that all the children have disappeared in some Pied Piper style tragedy. Or at least become mature overnight, like in Big. If you oppose this idea then in my opinion you are turning the world into a paradise for paedophiles. Give all the little girls massive tits and all the little boys gigantic phalluses and all our country's problems will be over.
I enjoyed watching the Leaders' election debate, which was made a lot more fun by having Twitter to entertain me. It was fun trying taking the piss out of our strange overlords. Clegg was the only one who looked fully human and came out the best in the debate. Brown's unanimated face looks terrifying whether in its regular "dead" mode or when his operator sends an electric charge through his corpse (I am assuming he died a few years ago from the colour of his skin) and causes him to "smile" and Cameron looks like an alien wearing a human skin that is too tight for him.
But it was a funny and desperate show from all of them and I think the whole thing could have been enlivened considerably if they had had to debate using the rules of Just a Minute. Or if one of them had just gone crazy and started slapping the others or got his cock out and invited the others to a sword fight.
I know that I have to vote, but I have no idea who I am going to vote for. Not David Cameron that's for sure - and the only way I will ever vote for him is if he calls the other two cunts in the next debate. How much do you want my vote David?
I really want a politician like Roy Jenkins who will do things because he thinks they are right, not because they will get him votes. Even if the idea is unpopular or if the newspapers try and kick up a stink. I don't want politicians who try to ingratiate themselves with me, I want one who I can trust to get on with stuff to the best of his or her abilities, with the best interests of the country (and the world) in mind. But I think those days are gone. So I'll just sit at home and make chippy comments about the fucking idiots who are trying to get into power instead.
