I suppose at least this time I didn't do a gig the
actual same night that I got back from holiday. But I was still pretty fucked as I drove through the fog and rain to Whitstable. And once again shitting myself about getting through the show. It's always difficult to come back to a show after not having done it for a few months, but Hitler Moustache is a particularly complicated piece to remember and even though I'd been looking through it all afternoon it did seem weirdly unfamiliar.
I had also decided not to shave down to the toothbrush. It's two weeks to my next gig and I am going to be walking around with a stupid fucking Hitler Moustache all through February, March and April and I decided that I couldn't face adding another fortnight of nasal welcome mat action. Nor could I shave down to nothing and wear a false one, because then it wouldn't grow back in time for Folkestone. And anyway it would be interesting to see if the show worked without the moustache.
If I could remember any of it.
I was a bit spaced out, I have to admit. I spilled coffee down my shirt as I was driving down and tried to wash it off in the dressing room, assuming there would be a hand dryer in the toilet, but there wasn't. So now I had a really wet shirt, that was still stained with coffee. Luckily I found an iron and managed to make myself look half respectable. My suit is shabby enough though and even though I think I've lost a little weight since Christmas it still doesn't fit properly, so I wasn't feeling amazing.
But I got through the first half fine, only missing out one gag, which I deftly managed to reinsert later. The small room was packed and it was a good crowd.
At the beginning of the second half I commented on how I was performing through a fug of jet lag and that I thus couldn't be sure if there was even really an audience there at all. A lady near the front archly commented, "Don't make excuses!" Which was fair, although I did reply that I thought I was doing pretty well all considered. But they weren't going to be taking any shit from me!
The second half was a little shakier and I did go blank at one point and had to bale out one routine, but I soldiered on and I think I got away with it, though after a month without performing my throat was not up to talking for an hour and a half.
So I was glad when it was all over and I'd got most of it right and I am really looking forward to getting on with the rest of the tour, even if I am not quite so excited about the return of the moustache itself. And great to start with a sell-out. Make sure
you book ahead if you're coming to one of the other 50 or so gigs (and don't worry Liverpudlians - looks like I'll be doing the show in Liverpool on May 12th, if you are looking for a fight.
