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Saturday 17th October 2020


There must be so many excellent out takes from the Taskmaster recordings. It’s incredible how much stuff has been cut out. But I think each record took two hours for 45 minutes of TV, so it’s not surprising. This discarded gem popped up today and it makes me cry with laughter every time I watch it, just as it did on the day.
If you wondered why we were red-eyed throughout the show, the this should give you some idea. We hadn’t been crying or partaking of illegal substances. Just the cathartic joy of crudity and silliness off the back of four months of being indoors. I was in pain from laughing so much after the first day. But elated. Laughter was certainly medicinal on this occasion. Perfect reactions from everyone too. Amazing how comedy can sometimes come so easily. All those years of struggling to make the perfect script when just getting the right group of people to react to some albumen coming out of a tube will be funnier than anything I ever attempt to create.

Anyway, it’s now two days since I was back on the TV and I haven’t been invited to a party at Jonathan Ross’ house or been given any free nose cocaines or even had one go in a jacuzzi full of supermodels. Also no work is coming in so I think my phone is broken. And also my landline phone. And also my email and Twitter. 
Things have clearly changed since the 90s, although thinking about it I spent most of my weekends in my flat playing Civ 2, so maybe I have misremembered things. A bloke from my village facebooked me about haloumi though. Which has to be the start of something right?
Or did I want to get back on TV for all these years for nothing?
It’s a morality tale for the ages.

We’ve been watching the Addam’s Family movie with the kids. I have never seen this film before, even though I am obsessed with the pinball machine it spawned. It’s super exciting for me because every now and again a line of dialogue comes up that is from the game. My  wife doesn’t seem to like being told about it though, almost like the whole thing is of no interest to her.
The film is fine, not great, but OK. And yet without it we would not have the greatest invention ever created by mankind. I am not employing hyperbole. That’s the height of human achievement. Maybe the game would have existed and been tied into a different franchise. But I doubt it. 
Dirty pool, old man. I like it.
Wake the dead.
Raul Julia may be gone, but his voice lives on and will live for all eternity/as long as pinball machines are still played, whichever is longer.

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