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Wednesday 17th February 2021

6654/19574
I decided to persevere with Apple after a nice man on Twitter suggested that consumer rights law might allow me to request a replacement computer or a refund. But it still took a couple of hours of my afternoon and being kept on hold, first on computer chat and then on the phone. Which I thought was weird cos they gave me a time they were ringing me back and then when they rang back (a bit late) I found myself on hold, even though they rang me.
But I’d got high up enough the chain to find someone who could get stuff done and I said I thought the easiest thing would be for them to send me a new laptop and take away the old one at the same time. He more or less agreed an acknowledged that the service wasn’t good enough, but in the end he managed to fast track my repair so that it would be picked up next week. Which is a bit more reasonable. How long it takes to repair is another question. 
I think this was down to my persistence, rather than the fact I’d been tweeting about it (I also emailed Ian Apple’s side-kick Tim Cook, though no reply yet). It’s a shame that obstacles are put in the way by companies and you have to keep using a battering ram to get them out of the way and use up hours of your and their time - is it really cost effective for Apple? I suppose it is - their stuff is expensive. But although I am not getting a new laptop (unless this one is beyond repair) it was good to have managed to get them to admit that this service wasn’t good enough, even if it took up a decent chunk of my life to do so.
I was back in hospital again this evening for some more tests, which more than suggests that things aren’t going 100% swimmingly, though these ones are for a separate issue that came up in the last scan, that is hopefully nothing to worry about. But it did mean going back in the CT scanner and seeing the same little scratch above my eyeline. More dye in the system, but still didn’t feel like I’d wet myself, though was delighted that there was a little warm sensation down my body and a weird taste in my throat as promised. And I was given a diuretic and had the equally weird feeling of my empty bladder filling in super quick time. I didn’t wee myself though, and anyone who says I did is lying. But even though I weed at the hospital after I needed to stop the car on the 7 mile journey home for another huge wee and then another when I got home.
Apart from all the wee it’s been an interesting experience and although the experience has been drawn out and a bit stressful, I am hugely impressed (and occasionally a bit worried) that the NHS has managed to get me seen as quickly as they have and I didn’t even have to spend hours on the phone letting them know how many Twitter followers I have. In some ways my body is more important than my laptop. But probably not worth as much and I know which one I prefer.
It’s not nothing obviously, but I think it will be all right and there’s a fuck tonne of material in this, so there’s a weird part of me that is sort of happy about it. Because I am, when it comes down to it, a comedian before everything else and everything is material and it would be hypocritical not to find this at least partly funny. There’s plenty funny about it. And the more serious bits just heighten the funniness.
I am sure I will fill in the dots if you haven’t managed it already over the next couple of weeks. I am confident that there is life in this old dog yet. I feel super healthy by the way. 
I got back in time for a postponed RHLSTP. I wish I could say the hour delay was out of me realising what time it was in Australia where my guest Alice Fraser is living, but it was because of my appointment. I thought I might need to wee during the chat, but my system had returned to normal luckily, though Alice had suggested I have a bottle under my desk, which I was not comfortable with! And it was nice to do something normal and Alice is a great person to chat to and I’d had a lot  of fun listening to her podcasts and stand up during the day.

RHLSTP with Nish Kumar is up on audio 
And video 
And he has two specials out in March which I heartily recommend.


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