After having slightly confused the denizens of Palmer's Green with my yoghurt based material, I headed into town for a drink.
On the tube I was sitting opposite two women and a man who were in the middle of a conversation. The women seemed to know each other, but the man was a stranger who had just got talking to them. Oh and the man was carrying a large water-melon.
The females were both of Southern European origin, and one of them (at a guess) was actually Spanish, as she had difficulty understanding the conversation and the man was making an attempt to converse with her in her own language. But her friend was British and didn't seem to be able to speak Spanish very well.
The man was amiable and trendy, wearing a jaunty little cap, looking a bit like Chris Martin would do if he had Simon Munnery's teeth transplanted into his head (after he'd had all his own teeth punched out. He didn't have two sets of teeth). I am sorry if you are not aware of what Simon Munnery's teeth look like, but next time you see him, have a look and then try and imagine them in Chris Martin's mouth). He was either being very friendly, or he was making some kind of effort to chat the girls up.
The Spanish girl was pretty, but her eyes were so big that she reminded me of a cartoon character (one of those from the early days of cartoons who always smiled and jiggled around on the spot when they were standing still). I don't find cartoon characters sexually attractive (and anyone who says I do and has seen me making love to life-size photo-copies of Jerry from Tom and Jerry is lying. And when I say life-size I don't mean that the Jerry is the size of a real-life mouse, mean he has been blown-up to human proportions. Not that that matters because I haven't done that. And I don't call him Tom when I'm having sex with him either).
The man with the watermelon (which I believed he was carrying for the affectation value, though he claimed it was a gift for someone) casually revealed that he was an actor and looked slightly pleased with himself. "Have you been in anything I might have seen?" asked the British girl.
"I'm shooting a Playstation commercial on Monday," the actor nonchanlently revealed. So the answer to the girl's question was obviously no. But if you see a bloke who looks a bit like Chris Martin but with Simon Munnery's teeth (not literally) in an advert for Playstation in the next few months you will have seen the man I am talking about. If he is carrying a water melon then you can be even more certain. I reckon the water melon is probably his best friend and he talks to it and maybe draws a face on it, like in that Tom Hanks film "Castaway" and maybe puts it on top of a mannequin of a headless human body and makes love to it (we already know that he wants to have sex with cartoon characters, the pervert). BUt I doubt the Playstation people will let him have the watermelon in the shoot so just look out for the teeth and vague Chris Martin similarity.
He was actually a very sweet man and not lairy or threatening like most men attempting seduction on a tube. In fact in the end I was fairly confident that he was just a friendly person and my initial suspicions were unfounded. He was delighted when he asked the Spanish girl to guess his age and she thought he was under 20. He was actually 26 (though was turning 27 either this or next weekend). I'm not sure I would have been complimented to be mistaken for a teenager, but he was an actor and thus vain and so loved it.
He got off to either deliver the water-melon to a loved one, or to make love to a water-melon headed mannequin like the pervert he was. He stood back to let people get on the train first. He was a very polite young man. Happy to be nearing a birthday, happy to still look young, happy to have a big job to go to on Monday, happy to have a water-melon to give to someone he loved (or to be in love with a water-melon).
It proved that Friday night inebriation is not always a bad thing. His delight was infectious. I felt guilty for judging him and his water-melon.
