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I ran round Cheddar reservoir in the rain this morning and as always wondered how many more times I will do this (not just in the rain). I have definitely run round the reservoir more times than I am going to run round Cheddar reservoir. I'm 56. That's true of nearly everything. I've done nearly everything more times than I am going to do it.
I tried to think of things I might be doing more in the last years of my life than I did in the first 56. Maybe shitting myself. Though not sure. I put in a lot of good work in that in the first 3 years of my life (and to be honest it wasn't something that entirely stopped then). It's all very dependent on whether I have a slow decline or a quick clean death, but my guess is that I have already shat myself more than I will shit myself.
Is there anything I have to look forward to that I will do more in the future than I have in the past. Maybe being right wing/racist. You never know. Having heart attacks. Only need one to win that race.
I am sure there are some things out there, but mainly I was glad to think that I have one of the first bits of material for my Oh Shit I'm 60! show (if I get that far). Along with putting my pants on being like I am an Olympic weight-lifter.
I was in Cheddar until just after lunch, and managed to sort out another tech issue for dad, whose iPad wasn't charging. I figured it was probably the cable that was dead, so tried it with one of mine and it worked. I had two with me, so let him keep it. So now I've helped out and am £20 down on the deal as it was a proper Apple one (mind you, so was his). He was surprised that I had written about his bank problems, as my mum read him the blog, laughing all along, and thought I'd make comedic capital out of this one too. Which he wasn't entirely wrong about, but this one isn't that funny. He offered to transfer the money for the cable from his Tesco bank, but I knew he'd just lock himself out of it again and give me another hour of pain, so I let it go.
If I was still doing Relativity we would at least have the sub plot for one ep. Your parents not understanding tech is a bit of a hack stand up subject, but nonetheless I told this fresh story at the Bath Komedia tonight and it went down well. As did the two terrific guests, Stuart Goldsmith and Jarred Christmas. Stuart had a surprise for me, that won't particularly work in audio pod, but he'd brought along his postman, Colin, who, it turns out, looks very like me. I didn't ask Colin if he was the one causing mayhem around the country by pretending to be me, but there are a whole army of middle-aged men with my face, hair and build apparently. I gave Colin a valuable "I was a guest on RHLSTP" mug for his troubles.
I got through this difficult weekend OK in the end, though elected not to do the two and a half hour drive tonight, so one more night in a Travelodge. Thanks to all those of you who came.
Belfast and Newcastle next. Both of which are close to selling out.
