Warming Up

I did the school run this morning, which involves driving down a slightly narrow country road to the next village. Two small cars can pass each other in most place, but if two lorries meet it can spell trouble. Just as I started along the road a car coming in the other direction flashed me and the driver waved, but I was almost past him by the time I realised and I wasn’t 100% with it. “What’s his problem?” I asked the kids. But they didn’t know.

In hindsight it was clear he was warning me that the road was blocked, but I didn’t want it to be as I needed to get to school on time, so like a Leave-o-phile I just carried driving onwards in spite of all the warnings. And for a long time it looked like I was vindicated. I got very nearly to the next village. 

Then there was a big lorry in my way. Was that what I’d been warned about? Sure it took up a lot of the road, but I could get round. Ha, the over reacting idiot man who had tried to warn me. Brexit will be fine. Then round the next corner I saw the real problem - a lorry and a van basically wedged together in the road. Ah shit.

Unlike the big lorry I could turn around and go back the way I’d come, but I still cursed myself and the wasted 10 minutes that I had incurred. I went all the way back to our house and went round the other way. 

At the same point that I was flashed I saw a car coming towards me. I flashed at the driver, but wary of history repeating itself I also slowed down and drove in the middle of the road so they were forced to stop. I then told her of the problem.

That’s how you fucking do it, lame-o flashing headlights man.

But fair enough. I was an idiot for carrying on with the initial plan. Will the Brexiteers be as apologetic? Or will they blame remainers for not getting behind Brexit enough to help lift the blockage out of the road?

I was only about three minutes late in the end, and some other kids from Phoebe’s class who actually live in that village were just arriving.

On the way back I looked up the shorter route to see if there was a traffic jam at this end. There wasn’t and in fact a car was coming from that direction and so I assumed the blockage was gone, so decided to save myself some time and risk going that way.

Turns out the blockage was not gone and presumably the car I saw had done what I was about to do, turn around and find another route. At least I had seen the problem from both directions.

And not learned a fucking thing. Just like the diamond hard Brexiter that I am.

We made the first payment from our snooker kickstarter fund to help out live venues in trouble, giving £3000 to the magnificent (and cruelly overlooked) Frog and Bucket in Manchester. It’s your money (if you backed the kickstarter) so the kudos is yours. We should be able to make three more donations of that level - one is going to The Bill Murray where we’re filming tomorrow’s RHLSTP. 

It’s a drop in the ocean of course, but please support your local clubs. It would be nice if you gave the price of a ticket (if you can afford to) to a club that means a lot to you, or if you’re a comic, maybe one fee.

Here’s the F&B Gofundme page if that’s a club that means a lot to you. It does to me. Had some very fine times at that venue, both on stage and off!