Days Without Alcohol and probably diet coke - 51.
Inevitably starting to feel a bit tired with all the traveling, gigging
and Bantering, whilst still trying to write a sit-com script in between. I didn't manage to get too much done in the day.
Then I drove off to Camberley just before the rush hour, relieved to find out that it wasn't in Kent as my taxi driver had confidently informed me last night, but as I thought, in Surrey and only around 30 odd miles from my house. The car seemed to be working fine despite my recent maltreatment of it.
I got to town early and after eating my healthy M and S salad and salmon and prawns in my car, headed to the High Street for a coffee to wake me up. The only place I could find for a hot beverage was Macdonalds, which I don't really like to patronise after seeing "Super Size Me", although the place has apparently had a bit of a makeover in the last few months. The signage is now brown and more tasteful and there seems to be healthier food on offer (though I didn't have any of it) and there's free wi-fi (which I am amazed more chains don't offer as it is always an incentive for me to patronise the place). The coffee seemed reasonably nice too, though I just had filter and not the machine made latte. Maybe old Ronald Macdonald has stopped his slightly creepy clowning around and is trying to appeal to grown ups.
I had a quick trawl round the internet and sent off some emails. Then I thought I would have a look to see if anything was going on with my site. I was surprised to discover that I was unable to visit richardherring.com in Macdonalds. It is blocked. This message came up -
"Access Denied (content_filter_denied)
Your request was denied because of its content categorization: "Adult/Mature Content;Arts/Entertainment"
For assistance, contact your network support team."
I don't know if it the adult/mature nature of my site that they object to (and to call it mature shows that they have never actually looked at it) or the fact that it's Arts/Entertainment, but I presume there is something that Ronald Macdonald finds offensive on here. Which I find a bit rich from someone who pollutes children's fragile bodies with his fatty and unhealthy food and rapes the world for his ingredients. I checked out Emma Kennedy and Andrew Collings' sites and they were both fine. In fact it was only my site that was blocked by Macdonalds. I mean I didn't try looking up any hard-core porn or terrorist advice pages, but then I don't think there is much on here that is quite of that level of offence.
What is the fucking problem with these burger-flipping cunts? I certainly can't see anything grandmotherfucking offensive on here.
It seems a bit much for a cafe to offer you free internet access and then decide what it thinks is suitable viewing for you. Like anyone looking at something with swearing or bare bums in it might somehow pollute the restaurant itself. I have never butchered an animal in my life and I don't like to be censored by someone who murders animals for a living.
Secretly though I am slightly proud. I doubt that this entry will have done much to convince Ronald Macdonald to reverse his policy.
The gig went fine, though I was slightly disappointed to only have sold 50 or so tickets. In the last couple of years my audiences have been slowly growing in size and having sold out in Manchester (around 180 or more tickets) and having already sold over 200 tickets for tomorrow's gig in Cardiff, it was a shame to have taken this slight step backwards. But I haven't played Camberley before (which is why I didn't know where it was) and I have noticed that it is the towns that I return regularly to that seem to have started taking me to heart. Hopefully the theatre will have me back next time and a few more people will come.
It was still a good gig though and an appreciative if chatty audience (chatty to me rather than to each other). My tiredness meant I made a few mistakes, but I was very relaxed and really enjoyed messing around with the loquacious ladies in the front row. And I as home by 11pm which made a nice change. The same won't be true tomorrow when I drive back from Cardiff. Especially given I will be going sarcastically slowly in an attempt not to pick up another 3 points on my licence (all 9 points I have accrued over the last four years have, as you may know, been picked up in South Wales). Hope to see you there Welshos. It's my only gig in your country this time round. Such a shame to be missing out on the delights of Swansea.
