Such a small amount of manure. If these people were going to do this they could at least have brought a lorry load. Something that would require some proper cleaning up. I mean, well done to them for the idea, but next time fill his whole driveway and all of his cars with the stuff.
I saw a man with a toothbrush moustache today. I have had various reports of spottings around the country of Hitlerian figures, but so far the only one I've actually seen is on me in the mirror. Occasionally due to shadowing or less bushy moustache ends I've thought I've seen one, but this was my first definite and actual sighting.
I was on the Uxbridge Rd,
almost at the exact spot where I once saw a tramp shitting and there was a man walking towards me, bold as brass, with a nasal welcome mat beneath his nostrils.
I wanted to stop him and shake him by the hand and declare our brotherhood, but then I remembered that I don't currently have a toothbrush moustache. I have a full beard which I am growing out so that I can shave down to a bushy toothbrush for my gigs in Brighton and Manchester. He would have probably thought it was queer had I stood there pointing at his moustache and then my beard as if it meant something.
Plus he was a man with a Hitler Moustache. Who knows how he would have responded?
I don't think though that he was someone who had seen my show and been inspired by my stand and decided to join me. He didn't seem to recognise me for a start, even though he must have seen me looking (perhaps he's used to that by now - I know I started blanking out the odd looks I got pretty quickly). But he was also a black guy and my research tells me that the toothbrush is still an acceptable moustache on the African continent. So more likely he was a man who had come to our country from Africa, as a visitor or an immigrant and decided to stick with the tache. A bold decision, but one that I think I can admire him for (though there is a chance that he's just a Nazi or a man like me, trying to reclaim the style, or just a fruitcake). Or perhaps I am just being as judgemental as I thought people would be of my own moustache.
It was though an amazing and wondrous thing to see. A few bold and insane men dare to ware the Hitler.
Oh yeah and it seems I was bang on about
Avril Lavigne. Amazingly
things didn't work out with her Sk8erboi husband. I hope she will write a song of apology to the girl who liked ballet at school.
