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I was interested to see the controversy over the painting Nymphs by JW Waterhouse, not because I particularly care one way or the other whether it’s displayed, but because my Grandma Doris had this picture (not the original,I am assuming) up in her bathroom and for some reason as a youngster I found the image quite confusing and entrancing. To this day I can only get truly aroused if my sexual partner is in some kind of pond or bog. It possibly even explains my compunction to push my wife into pools of water. It titillated me forty plus years ago and it still makes my tummy feel a bit weird to look at it now. And if that doens't make it great art, then I don't know what does. But it also transports me back to 1970s Middlesbrough and 11, Benson Street and my lovely grandparents. Art is so confusing.
But if you could draw that well, what kind of idiot wouldn't draw boobies?
Last year in Dorking Halls I sold out the 150 seater cinema venue. This huge demand meant that I was moved up into the even bigger cinema with well over 400 seats. And this over-confidence proved to be totally justified as I sold 151 tickets. That was one more Dorking idiot who could see my show.
DORKING FACTS- Did you know that Dorking experiences an oceanic climate (Köppen climate classification Cfb) similar to almost all of the United Kingdom? Well it's true.
Did you know that Dorking is named after the portmanteau of the two favourite activities of the inhabitants of the town: Dogging and Stalking? That's also true.
We arrived at the venue before 5pm so I went for a walk around in the town to see if I could locate the giant Dorking Cock and give it a rub. I never found it. Instead I found a cafe full of Dorking clocks and read more of Adam Kay’s book. Then I headed over the road to Pizza Express. I felt like I was on holiday. I was also slightly guilty that I’d left home too early and was getting this spare time whilst my wife looked after the kids. But this guilt was slightly assuaged as my wife was going out tonight too.
But what bliss it was to get a couple of hours to myself. I ate a pizza that I’d never tried in all my years of being a keen patron of Pizza Express and then to up the holiday feeling had ice cream as well. I considered having a beer or two too, but remained professional.
The gig was good, which was a relief as there’s always the danger of relaxing on show 2 and screwing it up. But I found a couple of good new gags and once again thoroughly enjoyed the performance. It’s too soon to say whether attendance is going to be better or worse than the last tour. I am always hoping to get a few more people in. But one more is probably not statistically significant.
I had to deal with some minor Twitter fall out from people taking issue with a tweet saying
The truth about Brexit is it was not the will of 17.1 million. Or the 16.4 million. It was the will of the 650,000 people who voted one way on a whim and might have gone the other way the next day. We’re doing this cos of 650,000 people who didn’t know what they wanted really.
I wasn’t saying that Brexit shouldn’t go ahead (though it clearly shouldn’t) just that papers and politicians have to stop claiming that this is the will of the majority. I don’t think anyone would dispute that 1% of the population are fucking idiots. Even the fucking idiots think it because they don’t know that they are fucking idiots. And the polls clearly showed that whilst there was solid support on both sides of the argument, there were people in the middle who weren’t sure either way and were vacillating. Of course, not all of them will have ended up voting for Brexit, but the point stands that it’s a decision that ultimately comes down to the vote of a very few people, who weren’t really sure what they wanted and who possibly voted on a whim. The Leave-ophiles won, but they talk about it being the will of 17 million. It’s the actual will of the fucking idiots who don’t know what they want.
