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It’s been a bad week for the Herring family losing body parts - my daughter has no top front teeth after losing one at the weekend, today my wife had her tooth extracted and I feel like something happened to me too, but I can’t remember what right now.
If you had to have a body part extracted, but.you could choose which body part, which part would go? I guess a tooth might be the go to choice, but what if you couldn’t choose which tooth? And no replacement was allowed?
A tooth is no testicle, whatever my wife claims about her mouth full of testicle equivalents. I am still the most hard done by. You can’t steal focus from me,
I am venturing out of my sick bed a bit more every day, though still taking it easy just in case. Catie was having a tin of soup for her dinner, so I made myself some baked beetroot and cabbage to go with some leftover chicken. It felt good to do something vaguely useful, but the worst thing that has happened to me in 2021 is that I have reached a point where I seem to enjoy eating beetroot. It was always my least favourite food and I would shun it and even when I’ve cooked it recently I have forced it down, usually trying to disguise it by eating it with something nice. Or leaving most of it on my plate. But tonight I ate two beetroots and managed to eat about five chunks left over when everything else had gone. And I savoured the beetroot and enjoyed it. Who even am I?
Beets are even my enemy out on the Stocean. How could I eat my enemies?
But after all the biscuits I’ve eaten in bed then maybe my body was just happy for something not made entirely of sugar. Then again these might have been sugar beets.
Dr Baddie continues to be naughty and be admonished and put in time out by my son. I am glad he has learned early to use inanimate objects and toys onto which to project the things you don’t want to get in trouble for. My son hasn’t seen Austin Powers so the name is not a nod to Dr Evil. It’s the best villain name I’ve ever heard though and I intend to steal it and write a series of kids books about him.
Also up to now when something naughty has happened and my son has tried to deflect attention away from himself, he has blamed Willow, who is either the daughter of some friends of ours who has only been to our house about three times or a girl at his nursery who has never been here. So Dr Baddie is a real step up in terms of deflecting blame.
I was wearing just my jockstrap under my dressing gown today and I mooned him and he thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen and kept wanting me to show him my bum. He’s right. A bum is funny, especially an adult bum. He was fascinated by the weird pants with no back and why wouldn’t he be? It’s objectively funny.
My six year old is more mature than the pair of us though and found the whole thing embarrassing. You used to laugh at stuff like this. What changed? I am confident my son will never tire of laughing at bums. Is it wrong for a man to show his three year old his bottom? I don’t know what is right or wrong any more. But if anyone challenges it I will be saying that Dr Baddie lifted my dressing gown with a mind ray. I love Dr Baddie.
