6054/18983
Both kids slept til 6.30am today. Which hasn’t happened for ages and is an incredible result. It wasn’t enough to put me back to anything like pre-children levels of energy, but that extra hour made a huge difference. And the affection I get from my little boy first thing in the morning is usually enough to lift may spirits anyway. Plus today he did a poo on the potty. I wondered if I had died and this was Heaven. It can’t be any better than this if I haven’t.
Later on he sat still and properly watched TV without even thinking about getting up and running towards the hottest thing in the house. There’s no way today happened is there? Or I am the unwitting star of a Truman Show style prank show, in which I am being set up for a fall. Or my whole life is the dream of someone else who is about to wake up.
Whatever it is, I don’t care. This is like my Groundhog Day perfect day, which hopefully means I wake up tomorrow with no children and my life back again - but like some kind of sappy end of Groundhog Day Bill Murray (the worst human being on the planet, which is odd because Bill Murray at the start of Groundhog Day is the best human being on the planet) I decide to have kids anyway. Don’t turn me into that post-Groundhog Day cunt.
I’m not fooling anyone. I love these stupid little twerps.
After the kids’ bath time I had to leave as I am working very early in Bristol tomorrow. I am back on the telly baby. It’s a secret project that I am not allowed to blog about, but knowing me it’s probably a TV quiz show of some kind. TV is insane of course so I got sent a car to take me to Bristol and put up in a smart hotel. My room had a carafe of brandy or whisky and one of vodka or gin in it. Weirdly though I am sworn off drinking, my lifelong obsession with consuming as much free stuff as possible in such circumstances made this one of the most tempting occasions of 2019. But I have to be sharp for my top secret work tomorrow, whether that be answering questions on a quiz or being in Hollyoaks or reading the Bristol news. Only time will tell which it is to be,
I am writing this and using my huge bed as a desk (even though there is a desk). There’s something a little bit sad about getting a lovely hotel room when you’re alone. This would be so much more fun with my wife here.
But then again, I will wake up tomorrow without my kids being here. So my Groundhog Day wish has come true (and my call is 7.45am so I can probably sleep til 6.45 and get a precious 15 minutes more than usual.
And I’ve realised that that makes everything worthwhile. Night night. I have a big bed in a posh hotel room and for the first time in human history I am going to use this luxury to get as much sleep as possible. Could be eight hours. Bye.
