I did a gig for the World Development Movement tonight, alongside brilliant comedians like Robin Ince and Francesca Martinez. Stewart Lee was also on (I am implying he is not brilliant, ha ha, I am funny). You can guess what we talked about quite a lot. But I am doing my best not to bring it up anymore. Though interestingly Francesca (who has cerebral palsy) has taken some flak on Twitter for her constructive comments on the subject, no one has called her a mong. Given that 50% of the people who contacted me called me that word, it's odd that no one thought to do it to Francesca. Almost as if the word doesn't just mean "idiot" and even these knobends realise that it would be wrong to say it to a person with a disability.
Leave it Rich.
It was just great to get on stage and do some comedy, though there was a frisson in the air and someone supportively shouted, "You were right, Rich" before I had spoken, which was nice of them. But I feigned ignorance, saying I hadn't said anything yet and wondered if they were a time traveler who had come back from the end of the gig to comment on the set. I then said that that was disgraceful as I had decided to do my racist set tonight. Shame on that supportive heckler.
The World Development Movement's slogan is "Justice for the World's Poor" and it was written on the banner at the back of the stage. I read it out and said, "Yes, when will the world's poor be locked up. That's why I'm here. Hopefully the money raised tonight will make that happen." Luckily it got a laugh. You have to be so careful what you say these days. People can take offence at anything.
But it was lovely just to then get on and do my set in front of a smart crowd and enjoy being a comedian again.
I went home. It's my girlfriend's birthday tomorrow but I gave her one of her presents an hour early. It was the complete original four series of the Twilight Zone. Some girls like diamonds and shoes, my girlfriend likes vintage science fiction. I win. We watched the first three episodes. It's a little bit wonderful - genuinely tense and exciting, but with the added fun of being slightly dated and twee. But mainly it's really good. The first episode (SPOILER ALERT) ends up being about an astronaut who may one day visit the moon. And of course when this show was made, America was still a decade away from achieving that. It was science fiction. He looked at the moon with relish, saying he'd be there one day. He didn't shout "Stupid moon.I will walk on your face", like Buzz Aldrin does in the brilliant 30 Rock. But it made me think of that, so it was poignant and also funny.
It's also fun to spot the celebrity (and for me it's fun to play the "Do you think that actor is still alive" game - given this is over 50 years ago most of them won't be). A young, toothy, but handsome Martin Landau plays a nasty cowboy in the second episode (and I was glad to find out he was still alive), as is an equally young and gorgeous Doug Mcclure (who I didn't know had died back in the 90s). There should be a Twilight Zone of Martin Landau now having to watch his younger self and then maybe entering the screen to interact with this youngster (and if you keep watching the series something like that also happens). It was unsettling enough me having to see the me of 15 years ago in Fist of Fun the other month, but going back 50 years must be a mind fuck.
Anyway it's well worth a look whether you remember the series or not and it's fun to see Rod Serling introducing the next week's episode at the end. Charlie Brooker once commented on my workload by remarking that Serling had worked himself to death coming up with all these scripts. I hope that isn't true, but this series stands as a monument to him and it's awesome that it's still around, even if he and most of the people in it are gone.
Seriously I am trying to leave the whole gervaisgate thing behind and my mum emailed me today and told me to stop engaging with people on it and I have to do what my mum says, but my absolute favourite comment on Twitter from the this week has been this one "you are yoghurt knitter. seriously, get off your high horse. you're not even half the comedian gervais is." Yoghurt knitter? Someone likes yoghurt knitting. Apparently not only am I able to knit which is a skill in itself, I can knit with yoghurt, which is incredible and not content with that I get on a high horse to do it. I've seen people knitting with yoghurt on normal sized and low horses, but I have been unimpressed. Only people who can carry out this feat on a high horse are worthy of the entrance fee to any reputable "equine, fermented milk circus". Think of the danger of being thrown from a high horse mid stitch. It night ruin your scarf made of Yop. And disgruntled fans of extreme lactic horseback knitting would ask for their money back.
