As you might have imagined quite a lot of people got in touch with me today to tell me that Heather Mills (when not doing work for charidee) is advocating
the milking of cats and rats. I, of course, was championing the same cause eight years ago on TMWRNJ, so it's good to see that the world is catching up with me. Even if, so far, it is only slightly mad-eyed and out of control ex-models who have joined my crusade. One day you will all be drinking cat milk, direct from the cat. Sweet and hot as nature intended. How long before Mills starts defending herself against accusations of yoghurt addiction.
I have a to do list on my computer, which every now and again I manage to put things on. But the effort of typing in the things that need doing is often too much for me and that's usually as far as I get. I moved into this house nearly five years ago now and ever since I did there has been a to do note saying "Get window locks", because to make my insurance valid the downstairs window must have window locks with keys in them. But for four and a half years I have failed to get round to doing that, enjoying the gamble that if someone did break in through that portal that my insurance would be invalid. I like to live dangerously.
Today though in a little spurt of getting things done I managed to build up the enegy to ring a locksmith and arrange for him to come over to fit the locks for me (and whilst I was at it I got him to change my door locks too - and one of those, he told me, had not been of an insurance standard). Within three hours he had arrived and done the job. It was really rather easy, putting my foolish prevarication into some kind of perspective.
I also had a man over to look at my boiler which is providing me with hot water, but not central heating. This one had been less easy to prevaricate on, due to the coldness of my house, but the problem developed last Friday so I can still take pride in my ineffectuality. The boiler is probably 12-15 years old and I had been thinking of replacing it anyway, but the man said that to repair the fault would cost £300 and that's if he could even find the right part and then there was no guarantee that other parts of the ancient heating system wouldn't break down imminently. So I decided I would suffer with the cold and get a new boiler, which I am now a bit stupidly excited about. Which probably proves I am 40. But apparently I can get a big combi-boiler which means I will get instant hot water and that also the water pressure all over the house will be constant, meaning the useless shower in my upstairs bathroom might actually become practical. Is it wrong to be delighted by these facts? Is it dull to share them with the world? Is the prospect of a new boiler exciting me evidence that my life is essentially over?
Perhaps. But the central heating has always been a bit crap in this house, so it will be nice to give it an overhaul and see if things improve. And whilst I am going to get a few quotes for this service it is something that I can't leave for very long, because otherwise I shall freeze to death. Nothing like the prospect of oblivion to get one to pull one's finger out.
At least this is one boiler who won't spout on about its work for charidee and the necessity of milking voles.
Only a few days left to enter the 5 year anniversary Krazy Krize Kiveaway, so please do donate. I know there are lots of you out there who read this every day and have never paid a penny, so if you think it's worth one pound a year (going to charity) for which you also get a prize which is likely to be worth more than five pounds (and what kind of an idiot wouldn't take up that offer) then please got to
my justgiving page in the next few days and then email me your postal address to Herring1967@googlemail.com. Thanks very much. Look at it also as a bribe to keep this insane endeavour going beyond the five year mark. And who knows how dull I might become by the time I am 45, so fo keep fuelling the fire, and we can replace this boiler when it becomes obsolete in a few years time with a n exciting new model.
