I had forgotten just how much fun the
Lyric Theatre Comedy Nights were. It's probably more fun for me than for anyone else, as I am in the enviable position of selecting the comedians I like the best and putting them together in a show. It's a real pleasure.
I also have to compere the event which is a bit more of a hassle as I am not a natural MC (or at least I haven't done very much of it), but tonight I felt relaxed and the crowd were very warm and welcoming and I enjoyed myself very much. I chucked in a few topical references near the beginning - including my surprise at John Prescott being bulimic. It's not so much the fact that he's a middle aged man that makes this surprising, but that he doesn't look like he's ever thrown up a single morsel of food in his life. He's certainly managed to digest something along the way. I was also delighted to read that Russell Brand, so it was claimed, had bedded one woman six times in an hour. Which initially sounds impressive, but taking into account that there must have been some recovery time between each bedding it actually suggests that each individual love act did not last very long. Even if Russell has a magic never untumescent penis (and I understand there are tablets available that can help one achieve a permanent erection) then it's still only a maximum of ten minutes per bedding (and to bed someone six times, suggests to me that you have to get out of the bed between each bedding, otherwise it only counts as one bedding). So maybe old Russ isn't quite the sex god that he claims. I am, as is palpably clear, only jealous.
The line up for the night was very strong, starting with the lovely and cheeky
Francesca Martinez, who is not only an excellent comedian, but also had the chance to carry the Olympic torch in London a couple of weeks ago, but turned it down because of the whole Tibet issue. This proved to be a very wise decision, not just because of her being in the real sense politically correct about this, but also because the whole fiasco weirdly made the people carrying the torch seem like apologists for an evil regime. Also, she told me, that due to her cerebral palsy she would have been unable to carry the torch in any case, so it would have been carried by someone else who she would have been touching. Which would have been fucking ridiculous. She wowed the crowd with her sit-down comedy routine, even though I claimed afterwards that she wasn't really disabled and considered her to have the sickest act on the comedy circuit.
Closing the first half was
Tom Basden from off of the Barclaycard advert and a just winner of the 2007 Perrier (as I insist on calling it) Best Newcomer award. He is annoyingly young, good looking, funny and an incredibly talented musician and songwriter and is bound to be a massive star. As I grumpily commented after he had charmed the audience, "Yeah, he's got all that, but has he...." I then looked at myself to try and think of some area in which I defeated him. There was very little to say. "But has he got such long hair that when he does a routine in which he has to spit on his hands, does he accidentally spit quite a lot of the spit into his own hair?" Which is what I had done in the bit before he came on. As I said I think that meant I had won.
What I really like about these Hammersmith gigs is that along with the big names and the stalwarts of the circuit I can introduce some newer acts who wouldn't usually get to play such a bit theatre and tonight's newcomer was an especial pleasure,
the wonderful, Brain Gittins. You have to see him to believe him, but the Lyric audience were stunned and amused in equal measure. For such a new act he has an admirable confidence, not actually uttering a word for at least a couple of minutes at the start of his insane act.
Jenny Eclair closed the night, cantering around the stage pretending to be a pony and rolling around on the floor, spouting filth (in fact I think she's the first time I have had an act who could challenge me for rudeness in all the Lyric shows).
I felt very proud to have put this night together and hope you can make next week's show, which promises to be just as varied and hilarious. It was a great two and a half hours - though of course, Russell Brand could have had sex 15 times in that time.
I love my job.
