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It was my wife’s birthday and we drove to London so I could treat her like a queen. That's right I took her to hospital for preliminary medical checks.
No, ignore my brilliant topical joke. I took her to the shops to buy her some presents (cleverly getting her to choose rather than buying her a load of shit she doesn’t want) and then we went out to dinner in a super fancy restaurant with a tasting menu. The food was incredible and Catie also paired each course with wine, with each new drink being described by the wine waiter in huge detail. For the first time this year I slightly regretted that I wasn’t drinking booze and was particularly taken with a Greek wine that was made by the sea, so the grapes were a little salty. I stayed strong though and let my wife drink for two. I smelled some of the wine, but I didn’t really like the odour. I think I’ve made the right choice. Still not sure if the abstinence is permanent or whether I will be back under the table in 2022
We do this kind of thing so rarely (the last time was a year ago for Catie’s birthday) that it justifies the insane expense. We stay in so much that we have just consolidated all our meals out into one giant meal out.
We chose to add a cheese course, which in hindsight I think was a mistake. I felt like Mr Creosote after this as it had been preceded by about seven (admittedly small) courses and there were still two courses to go. Then they brought out an extra birthday pudding for Catie and that one nearly made my stomach explode. I am not going to weigh myself for a few days as I am sure I have set back my diet by a month or so.
It was fabulous but we both had to fight through our tiredness. And the meal lasted much longer than we’d expected. We didn’t get back home til nearly midnight - thanks to my gracious parents-in-law for holding the fort that long.
It was my third time into London in four days and we’re going back in on Saturday to go to the theatre. I have no regrets about leaving this stink pit of moral vice though like the fact we’re just about within range if we want to pop in. The late night drives home do make me have slight second thoughts, but luckily I am usually so tired I basically sleep all the way and I am a good enough driver to not crash while doing that.
Happy birthday to my wife who is now older than I was when we got together. I told her that when she’s 54, I’ll be 67 and I think she thought I was joking. But then she realised it was true and her face gave away the regret she felt at marrying someone so old. The joke’s on her. I’ll be dead by then and she’ll be married to some handsome young idiot instead. Ha ha. What a loser.
