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Sunday 21st February 2021

6658/19578
What times we are living in. I had to go to hospital today to check I was well enough to go to hospital. If they broaden this service out then I think they could make the NHS run much more smoothly. Sorry mate, you’re too ill to come to hospital. Go back home and come back in when you’re fit enough.
In this case they were just checking to see I didn’t have one specific disease (Covid 19 - don’t know if you’ve heard of it, it’s quite a new one) but they could start expanding that out to all health problems and suddenly waiting lists would be cut to almost nothing. I’d send this to Boris Johnson right now, except I think he might do it. If he’s considering a roundabout under the Isle of Man then anything is up for grabs.
But I’d happily sell him the idea for 5% of the annual health budget.
It was a super efficient and safe and (almost) self-isolating test. I had to drive round the back of the hospital like I was a criminal collecting a drop off of stolen drugs and park up in a special little bay under some scaffolding and then a health professional came to the car, asked me who I was and then stuck a Q tip down my throat and in my nose and hey presto. I was done.
I was 15 minutes early, but that was OK, which meant I was actually home again at about the time my appointment was meant to be.
They only tell me the results if I’ve got Covid. So hoping not to pass this particular test as I am now very keen just to get the offending article whipped out and then see where I stand. And if I can stand.
I waited my package of stolen drugs, but my cheerful tester (95% off the staff I’ve met over the last few weeks have been bundles of positive energy, which ie extraordinary in the circumstances and the one or two who were a little less hyper were still very nice. I don’t know how they are keeping their spirits up, but will remain ever thankful for it) just did the swab and told me I could go. Maybe I’ll get the good stuff after my procedure. And hopefully there will be something during it too. I don’t want to be conscious for what’s coming.

Other than that just a fun day with the family. We made a Lego Spiderman motorcycle in the morning - or I did whilst the kids did something else but I wouldn’t have it any other way. And we’ve whizzed through most of the Back to the Future trilogy in the last couple of days. Is it just me or is episode 2 sort of ruined by the sports almanac that covers 50 years and appears to include college sporting fixtures and all horse races is such a thin book. Even if the writing is really small. Which it can’t be, as old Biff readily finds out the result of the game they’re listening to in the car without even having to squint (or even leaf through the pages). I guess they had to make it that way so they could have the bit with the soft porn switcheroo (however much Biff likes wanking, I guess a jazz mag as thick as 50 years of sports results would be a bit much to believe). Also, of course I would question whether the almanac would be much good after the first day or so. Biff’s win changes history pretty quickly and enough would change in the world to affect the lives of any players/riders. Certainly by the time the world is a dystopia in the 80s many of the sportspeople will have perished in the drive by shootings, even if sports are still on. Come on Back to the Future - do time travel properly.


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