This year has passed in a bit of a blur. I am looking at the date of this entry and thinking, "Wait, no, that can't be!" But unless I am the victim of a elaborate prank perpetrated by all calendar makers, then yes, apparently, we are little more than a week away from it being May 2012. It's just insane.
I guess I have had one or two things to keep me occupied, with touring and marrying and moving and I haven't had much time to stop and mark the passing of a third of the year. But after tonight's gig in Reading I only have three more "What is Love, Anyway?"s to go (just the Machynlleth Festival and two gigs at the Bloomsbury in May -
details here). There's plenty of stuff to keep me occupied, but when I got home tonight I realised I could finally exhale and it was a long and enjoyable breath. It will be nice to sit down and relax without worrying that there's somewhere I have to be or something that I have to organise or someone I have to pay!
But as I had a bath this afternoon I did have a moment to contemplate how things have been going and to realise how much I have achieved personally and professionally in the last twelve months. I have pushed myself and worked hard and there's been numerous setbacks, but most of the work I have done has been entirely self-generated and self-promoted and even though the majority of it has been given out for free, somehow I have made enough money to stay afloat and get married and have my house renovated. For a man who trades on his life being a trail of disappointments and near misses I am doing OK for myself. And just for a moment I allowed some self-congratulation. I am no businessman but somehow I have turned this shambolic churning out of material into a viable business, just through persistence really. When no one was interested in paying me to do stuff for them, I just got on with it and put the stuff out there myself, and have created a viable career without having my own TV show. It's taken twelve years of slog I suppose and there's no guarantees for the future. But I felt momentarily proud of myself and I don't often do that. Though it's been happening more recently: I felt it when I married my wife and I felt it when I went to bed after the first day of constant abuse I got last year from Ricky Gervais fans.
In a world that wants instant results and overnight success this is maybe not an example that people will want to follow, but hard work eventually produces results and hopefully provides a firmer base that means your life won't just topple over at the first blow.
Of course the sitcom writers who are scripting my life know that a run of happiness and good fortune will just make the inevitable banana skin they have planned for me all the funnier. They're just waiting for me to say "Nothing can possibly go wrong..."
