Ah now that's what I like - a day off. A drive into the countryside to see friends, buffet lunch, couple of pints in a pub, back for a massive delicious dinner of lasagne followed by chocolate ice cream, then falling asleep in front of the film Iron Man (don't think it was the films fault- more likely the beer). Doesn't get much better than that.
The couple we were visiting are having a baby in three months and showed us some of the cute baby clothes they have already bought. Because most of the fun of procreating is having a living doll to play with.
This baby will have little Ug-style boots and a big fluffy, furry coat with a hood that would look on a gangsta pimp. In fact I wondered if they did it in adult sizes as I'd quite liked to have worn one around the Bush.
But even without a baby inside the coat felt soft and lovely and you couldn't help but hug it. In fact I wondered about buying another suit of these very clothes and stuffing them with cotton wool and carry them around the shopping centre pretending it was a baby. Then when a clucking old woman came over wanting to see my child I would show them the stuffing face child (maybe with some eyes and a mouth drawn on withe felt tip) and then pull a slightly crazy face as I pretended to be proud of my pretend baby. Would the viewer be scared and run away or be concerned and pretend that the baby was real? It would be terrific fun either way. I might give it a go. Even better if when they take a second look at me they realise that I am also wearing an adult sized version of the clothes that my cotton wool baby is wearing.
It's good to have a plan for when my fragile sanity finally collapses. But if I never have a real baby then why shouldn't I be allowed a scary felt-tip faced pretend one?
