6718/19638
I had a good night’s sleep and felt a lot better today. Last evening as I lay on the bed with my head spinning I’d fancied I’d heard an echoing buzzing sound coming from the chimney in our bedroom, but I thought that maybe that had been a symptom of whatever I was going through. But my wife heard it today. And also some black and yellow flying creatures found their way into our bedroom. I texted
the wasp man who had performed genocide on our wasps last July, but he told me that it’s too early for wasps so they must be bees. How can it be too early for wasps. Surely there must always be wasps. They can’t just pop up from nowhere in the summer.
I had thought the ones I’d seen were wasps, but I was not going to stingsplain this guy. Our next door neighbour keeps bees (though he has his bees under control somehow so he knows they aren’t his) and he’s going to come round tomorrow to have a look up my chimney. I can’t hear any buzzing as I write this though. Maybe the bees have found a better chimney to buzz about in. On the bright side, this could mean free honey dripping down into our bedroom every morning. And bees up your chimney is better than birds flying round the house. I love the countryside.
Most of the day was taken up with waiting for my people carrier to get its MOT. I have driven this car on about three occasions in the last year: going on holiday last August, going to Wales to be in that film and going to visit the oncologist when my wife was using the electric car. I didn’t think there was much chance of it failing the MOT, but it did. As one of the tyres had a cut in it. This seemed almost impossible. I think I’ve had five tyres on this car changed in the last twelve months. Two or three needed changing for the last MOT (one of which had a tiny nail in it that had been missed by one garage, but they’d all served me well), then I
ran over that spike in Wales (not sure if that took out a new or an old tyre) and now the tyre on the other side had been damaged too. Which is pretty impressive given how little I’ve driven the car. I had made the mistake of getting the MOT done at VW rather than at a tyre place, because VW don’t seem to ever have the tyres in and so I had to go to a tyre place anyway and wait for another couple of hours and then come back to VW for the MOT. Luckily I was able to prep a bit for Twitch of Fun as I waited. Not that you’d know I’d prepared anything if you watched it and as with all the best Twitches, so much stuff just appeared from nowhere anyway. It was a good breakdown one.
It’s on YouTube.
Someone tweeted me a screen grab from a website saying “As of 2021 Richard Herring’s is not dating anyone. Richard is 53 years old. According to CelebsCouples Richard Herring had a least 1 relationship previously. He has not been previously engaged,.
Fact: Richard Herring is turning 54 years old in 80 days. Be sure to check out top 10 facts about Richard Herring at FamousDetails.”
It was a Hell of a way to find out that my wife had left me, and also (given that I have never been engaged) that we were never actually married in the first place. But ladies, apparently I’m a free entity again, so if you like one-bollockedm, fat, old men who are not dating anyone but have had one relationship in their nearly 54 years on the planet, then form an orderly queue.
And I can’t wait to see the other 9 facts if the one they are sharing is as strong as this. Might the next one be that I am 445 days away from my 55th birthday?
Another one that someone sent says I have a net wealth of $1.5 million (which is terrific news - I didn’t think I had any dollars at all. But I am definitely going to sell that net now I know what it’s worth) and I am a member of Comedian, but does at least accurately predict that I would get cancer, so they’re not all nonsense.
