My gig in High Wycombe turned out to be a battle of the (sort of) West Country based comedians. In the main venue at the Swan Theatre was Cornish (in the real, rather than Fist of Fun sense, though most Cornish people are a bit cornish) main-stream comic Jethro. In the smaller Town Hall was pretend Somerset (I was actually born near York, which is why I support the soon to be extinct football team, York City) “cult” ( = unpopular) comedian, Richard Herring.
The battle was one sided. Jethro comfortably won. For starters he had a support act and two (count ‘em) tour vans. I accidentally went into his venue when I arrived and there were a dozen or so technicians milling around.
I had turned up in my Automatic VW Golf and my team consisted of Simon Streeting, who does all the organisational stuff pre-gig, sets up my equipment and operates the show. And no-one else.
But as Jethro would learn if he came to see me, it’s not size that‘s important. It’s how much happiness you bring to how many people.
Oh dear.
Jethro was a massive sell-out (IÂ’m guessing 500 seats).I had a my average crowd of around 150.
But who was funnier? Jethro started half an hour before me and I listened to a bit of his show on the intercom backstage. There was a good 30 seconds with no audience response at all. Ha ha. I was going to win. But then he got to the swearing punch-line of his story and the roar of the audience was practically enough to knock me over, even coming from a tinny speaker.
My gig went fine though. I think we had fun and on a couple of occasions when I did one of the naffer jokes and the audience groaned I chided them and said “Well you should have gone to see Jethro!” Disappointingly no-one was sharp or brave enough to come back with “We tried to, but HE was sold out!”
There was an elderly couple near the front, looking slightly uncomfortable during some of the filthier bits of the show. Maybe theyÂ’d been turned away from Jethro and sought solace with me. Or perhaps theyÂ’d just wandered into the wrong venue. I wonder if they noticed the difference.
After IÂ’d done the gig and signed some programmes I headed back to the car-park. Jethro had just finished as well (he even does longer than me, will I never win?!). His audience were returning to their cars.
I had to sit in my car for 15 minutes as I waited for a queue of seemingly hundreds of cars to get out. ThatÂ’s not a problem youÂ’ll have if you drive to my gigs. YouÂ’ll be straight out the car park. (unless Jethro's on nearby)
So at least in one respect I was victorious.
