Bookmark and Share

Monday 23rd June 2014


It was with a great deal of relief that I looked under the sun lounger this morning to see nothing at all. The bird had gone. And whilst there was a chance that it had been carried off by a fox or cat, there was a reassuring lack of blood or feathers, so most likely it had had its rest and then taken back to the skies. We had done the right thing by not giving it lettuce.

Whilst the sinister bird had been in our garden I had not managed to do any work, but now it was gone I had a very productive afternoon and evening, vastly improving the start of the play and moving on towards the end. It made me wonder if the bird was somehow a physical representation of my writer's block. It hung there like a word vulture, feeding on my thought waves, sucking them out of my head like worms. But now it was gone my brain worked freely again. Perhaps the blockbird was only even visible to me. Oh no, hold on, my wife saw it too. My powers of manifesting sinister forces in bird form are stronger than I thought.

The important thing is that the bird is gone. Hopefully it's still alive, but more pertinently I don't have to clean up its slowly rotting cadaver, so that was a relief.

I amazed that my brain was whizzing along so long after being so turgid yesterday. I had expected to be exhausted as I'd had to go into town early for some nutritionalist based blood tests and a personal training session. I thought the exercise would scupper my plans to work til 1am, but if anything it invigorated me. And I managed to get through a mammoth writing session without snacking on chocolate or Haribo or drinking a massive bottle of diet coke. At one point I found myself eating salad out of the bag as a snack. What has become of me? All of this stuff is working though. I don't have abs, but I've dropped a kilo and a half this week. I am under 13 stone (at least first thing in the morning when I have been weighing myself) for the first time in a long time. Only 10 more kilos to go, BMI motherfuckers.

We still haven't got a cast for a play (or the last third of the play) but there are some exciting possibilities. I will let you know as soon as they are confirmed.

The free podcast 45 minute video version of episode 3 of RHMOL is now up on vimeo and Youtube. I think it's really finding its feet by this episode.

The free audio is on the British Comedy Guide and iTunes

Or head to to buy the full length episodes on video or audio. Or you can just buy a badge to help us make more stuff like this. Remember monthly subscribers get a secret channel and a behind the scenes of RHMOL3 has just gone up on there.

And/or just telling your friends about this stuff would be a great help to getting more projects off the ground.

Bookmark and Share

My new stand up show, Oh Frig I'm 50 is at on tour from February til June 2018. There's also a new series of RHLSTP with recordings every Monday from February 5th to April 2nd All details of shows here.
Help us make more podcasts by giving us about a pound a podcast subscribing to Drip You get loads of extras if you do.