The final Collings and Herrin live podcast was a hot and sweaty affair. I was a little hungover and I think possibly everyone else in the room (with the exception of Collings who had been in bed at 11pm) was as well. As a result Andrew was possibly the funniest thing in a Collings and Herrin podcast for the first time in its history. Probably not.
You can be the judge. I got my revenge on him by repeatedly making unfounded and untrue allegations against one of the finest film makers in the world, which meant Collings had to spend his last afternoon at the Fringe editing out the contentious word (it was bibliophile - and there's no proof that the man in question likes books at all). I think we've both done pretty well to churn out five and a half hours of this crap in five consecutive days at the unGodly hour of 12.20pm.
Collings got one more chance to show off when he took part in Karaoke Circus at the Pleasance Dome. This was an enormously fun night in which comedians and members of the audience sing karaoke style in front of a live band with a clown on lead guitar. It was a joyous night, where good and bad were welcomed equally. They are then judged by the Simon Cowell-like Dan Maier and another clown called the Baron who says everyone is "Briiilllliant!" regardless of how they have done. That shouldn't be as funny as it actually is, but I never tired of it and it just made me laugh more every time. Collings was on in the first half, singing "Love Cats" by the Cure. I am not sure I have seen a more brave and foolhardy performer than this man, who dazzled me with his swaggering and awful stand up on the first night he was here, and now similarly confidentally stood up to murder this beautiful song. He began by asking if anyone in the audience would lend him some lipstick, which I thought was sure to end in failure, but some foolish stranger allowed him to have hers and he smeared his face inexpertly with the rouge, looking more like a drunk clown than the Robert Smith. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen and I laughed loudly and openly at the fucking idiot, even though he had dedicated his song to me in touching fashion.
I was aware of the hubristic nature of my laughter as I was going to be singing a song in the second half. I had been given "This Town Ain't Big Enough For the Both of Us" by Sparks, simply because the keyboard player in that band had a toothbrush moustache. It's a very tricky song to sing, having a complicated tune and an irregular number of bars between each verse. I had been singing it at home, along to the CD, but was unsure I'd be able to pick out the key in front of a band. And I was proven correct. I floundered my way through the song, scarcely hitting a note in tune and mainly just shouting and gesticulating to cover up my inadequacy. I would have felt more embarrassed, but I was drunk and the evening was so unjudgemental and lovely that none of that mattered. I was pleased to have taken part and lots of people said nice things even though I was palpably terrible. I felt a bit like I did after my similar successful failure on Just a Minute. Sometimes it's good to be rubbish at something. To try your best and fail completely. And what's the worst that happens? You look like a drunk clown who can't sing with lipstick all over your face.
A younger, more over sensitive and insecure me would have gone home feeling sad and ashamed, but I went home with my stupid head held high, fooling myself that I had been like a punk rocker and torn the room apart. I hope I made Andrew laugh as much as he made me laugh. He was already in bed and would be leaving early in the morning and in my crapulousness I might have sent him an email saying how great I thought he was and how much I had enjoyed doing our show together. But more likely some kind of monkey broke into the flat and inadvertently typed out such a message on my laptop and sent it to him.
Just seven performances to go now. Then I can sleep and diet. Tomorrow will be the last Monday at the Fringe for me. Hopefully I can freewheel down this last hill and enjoy the final few shows. I had the best one for a while tonight, which is a good sign. Something will have to go seriously wrong to stop this being one of the top three Fringes of my life. Maybe even the top one.
Still a few tickets left for the show if you want to come along.
