I am not one of the comics that all the trendy stars come to: though Janet Ellis, Marlon Dingle and Roland Gift have all been to this year's show (that's right, look impressed, because it is impressive). But tonight Nicholas Parsons came to see my Cock and that's about as good as it gets. I am doing his chat show tomorrow and unlike me he is a true pro and clearly does some research on the people he's talking to, so he wanted to be up to speed on what I was doing this year.
We went out for a drink afterwards - he had a half of lager, though he really wanted Guinness - and he was effusive with praise for the delicate line I trod in talking about this difficult subject, but he was also wary of the fact that I couldn't do any of the material from the show when we were chatting. I told him we'd be able to find something else to talk about.
I have enjoyed communing with the more mature performers at the Fringe (and at nearly 89 Parsons has to be in with a good claim to be the Father of the Fringe), though it seems like a long time since I had a drink with Barry Cryer and Rodney Bewes. I was hoping that Parsons might reveal that Paul McCartney had played on the Sale of the Century theme or that Jesus had devised Just A Minute, but I got no further magnificent rumour to spread. I just got to feel like a bit of an idiot for complaining about old and tired when Parsons is ploughing on with such energy. He's been doing his Edinburgh chat show for the last 12 years and if he manages it for two more then he'll be performing at the Fringe in his 90s, which would really be something. He's done two and a half weeks of this year's Fringe and he's still able to enjoy a small drink and might have had more but had to get up early because he's presenting something else at 10am. He's also done two Just A Minutes while he's been here.
I really have to man up. I am in awe at this man's staying power.
But I didn't stay out long - I came back to the flat at about 11pm to carry on sorting out the limited edition programmes (the people who gave the 60 highest amounts and who have provided their addresses will have their envelopes in the post tomorrow). As I did this I watched Pretty Woman for the first time (or at least half-watched it) - it's a film I have somehow managed to avoid for twenty-two years, but I thought I should see it. I didn't like it very much, though it was bolder than I expected in places, but equally unrealistic in others. But you've seen it, I expect so I don't need to tell you. But I was surprised to see George Costanza from Seinfeld in it and acting so badly. In fact in the end (SPOILER ALERT) he seems to be about to rape Julia Roberts, just because she's a prostitute and so that's OK. I know he can be a bit of a selfish grouch on Seinfeld, but this was a step too far. It's far worse than Kramer being a racist, but I guess because it happened during the early years of Seinfeld that no one really noticed. Anyway I was shocked. As you might be that I have spent the Edinburgh Fringe watching 1970s TV dramas and morally questionable 1990s romantic comedies, rather than live shows. Ah well. Too late now.
