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Off to the Eden Project today. It’s no Charlestown Shipwreck and Heritage Centre, but we can’t hold that against it. Confident that today would be the start of a heatwave I went out in just my T-shirt which I regretted as soon as we were out of the cottage, but once you’ve managed to get your family out of the door you can’t go back for anything.
I had been to the Eden Project before, but so long ago that I wasn’t even blogging then (it must have been in about 2001) but I didn’t remember too much about it. Their computers were down (I imagine they are powered by daffodils and maybe they hadn’t opened up in the sun), but luckily we’d booked on line last night (and if you change your ticket money to a donation to the charity you get a year’s entrance for free - it’s doubtful we will be down here again in that time, but you never know) and they let us go through.
Phoebe is a bit too young to get too much out of the biomes, but she does enjoy different textures and was engaged enough with touching the odd leaf or stone, or digging up some dirt. And she walked around quite a lot of the attraction holding our hands which is just lovely.
My favourite bit was discovering that there is only one kind of indigenous bee that can pollinate vanilla plants. So vanilla plants growing anywhere else in the world have to be pollinated by hand. I bet that job attracts a lot of floraphile perverts.
Also one of the plants had phallus in its name. That was good too. Not because I am a floraphile, but because I like it when things are rude. I have to say though, if I had to have sex with a plant, (and you have to admit loads of flowers are deliberately trying to tempt us away from the literal path of righteousness by looking like opening or probing genitalia) this big phallus one would be near the top of my list. But I don’t want to. And anyone who says I do is lying.
It’s an impressive and bizarre place. Once again man temporarily conquers nature and is able to grow tropical plants (and whorish vanilla) in an environment that is against their nature. But without us most of these plants wouldn’t have a chance to propagate. It’s an unlikely truce in the ongoing war between man and nature. Will these prisoners of war ever be released?
The Eden Project is of course doing lots of worthy work trying to protect the plants in their natural environment as well and the pleasure of seeing all this exotic and sexy undergrowth is continually undermined by notices telling us how indigenous tribes and rare plants are being destroyed by our greed and industry. A man stopped us to let us know how little drinking water there is in the world and how much of it is used up bringing beef and coffee and chocolate to us. So that’s another thing to worry about as the world ad civilisation hurtles towards suicidal oblivion. Well the world will survive. But we’re on our way out at some point in the next 50 to a million years.
We found some soft play for Phoebe, which she loved, taking risks and trying to befriend all the kids she saw. It’s exhausting but very rewarding and I am loving having a week with her without the distractions of work or touring. I am sleeping really badly, due to a very uncomfortable bed (our bed at home has spoiled us for all other beds, but this one is especially creaky and lumpy) but
We went back to the pub we’d vacated on Sunday for dinner and the horrible women weren’t there this time. As we arrived the pub was full and we talked about going somewhere else. A woman at a table got our attention and Pavlov’s dog as I am I expected her to berate me for being rude. But she actually just wanted me to know that she and her husband were leaving so we could have their table. Faith in humanity is restored.
We even managed to climb up the hill to the top of the harbour as the sun set and see a position where there used to be cannon (only fired once and at a British ship that had failed to identify itself according to the Shipwreck Museum).
Tempting Failure self-playing snooker tickets available and as you can see, if you come and see me you will also get to watch a man cooking his own poo. So Me2 might have to wee in a glass and drink it. More info here.
Here are the confirmed RHLSTP guests (though there's someone else pretty exciting just added to 18th July -won't be revealing name until badge subscribers have had chance to hear)
6th June - No one yet. Shit. Better get a move on
13th June Lauren Laverne and Doc Brown
20th June - No one 100% confirmed, but visiting US comic looks likely
27th June - Vic Reeves (nearly sold out)
4th July - Nish Kumar
11th July - Sofie Hagen
18th July- Russell Kane + secret exciting person
25th July - No one yet, loads of time
Book here
