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We watched Terminator 2 tonight (we watched Terminator a couple of nights ago). It’s been a while since I’ve seen these films (though I relive the action of the second one most days via the medium of computerised pinball) and it was strange to see how shonky the special effects (and acting) was in the first one. The second one has much higher production values (though weirdly the effects around the appearance of the Terminators seem worse than the original), but the dubious decision to introduce the child John Connor and try to make him teach the Terminator how to be cool. The Terminator is already cool, certainly cooler than a 12 year old spouting lame 1990s catchphrases and John Connor is clearly meant to be a bit of a dick. But it’s ill-judged and almost derails the film (though somehow doesn’t and you can enjoy the “Hasta La Vista” moment forgetting how it came about). The attempts to bring emotion and humour to the Terminator are plain wrong (and someone told me on Twitter that when the Terminator weirdly comments, “I need a vacation” very close to the denouement, that is Arnie quoting himself from Kindergarten Cop - which is wrong on nearly every level, not least that you don’t quite a shitty forgettable film in one that will likely be a classic). The movie would definitely be improved by the Terminator, right at the end, deciding to shoot John Connor in the face for being such a prick. It’s against his mission, but no one would blame him. And by this stage Connor has made himself obsolete in any case. As long as the Terminator destroys himself then the circle is closed and Connor is going to grow up to be an investment banker or general wassock and so is superfluous to requirements. He could say “Hasta La Vista baby” in a sarcastic way to Connor just before he shoots him, to let him know how pathetic and uncool his attempts to be cool have been.
At the very least Arnie should give the brat the finger as he descends into the molten steel, rather than the cheeky thumbs up. Fuck you! I’ve had to kill myself because of you and you weren’t worth it.
And if they were going to quote another film, then clearly there was room for a “You think this is the real Sarah Connor…. it is” moment at the end.
Has a movie franchise ever been improved by the addition of a child as a major part of a sequel? A few people voted for Newt in Aliens when I posed this question on Twitter, but aside from that it’s been a disastrous thing to do. So why do they keep doing it? Why were they trying to make the Terminator family friendly.
In the end, for me, both films are spoiled by the fact that they concentrate more on fighting, car chases and explosions than on discussing the parodoxes that are thrown up by the story. In the end the bad Terminator should realise that he has to keep the good Terminator and himself in one piece. Rather than trying to destroy them he should just head to Skynet or any other evil company and present himself to them and let them use the technology that will ultimately create him. And of course the Terminators would never have existed if they hadn’t sent a Terminator back to kill Sarah Connor, but now they’ve been destroyed in film 2, they will surely never exist to send themselves back and so none of the stuff has happened. Unless alternative universes have been created, in which case that’s really very little help for the John Connor in the Terminator Universe, who may have created a Universe in which the Terminators are not created, but still lives in a Universe where they exist and there’s fuck all he can do about it. I’d rather see them all trying to work out what’s going on than have them crash liquid nitrogen trucks into conveniently placed steel works.
Apparently there are other films in the series and another one about to come out, but unless those other films are mainly discussions about the paradoxes,with little to no fighting, except all the Terminators breaking off every now and again to punch the kid who plays John Connor in the face (by the sounds of it the actor is a bit of a dick in real life, so I don’t mind if he’s an adult in the later sequels or if he is no longer the character). I’d also like to see a film just about how the 45 year old John Connor feels when he meets his own father in the future, but can’t tell him he’s his son and then has to send him to his death (maybe that will be in the next film), but that’s pretty much a play right there. Though does the future John Connor know about that? Because if he remembers all the stuff that happened when he was a kid, can’t he just warn his dad about the stuff that he knows has already happened (or indeed Terminator 2 about all the problems he will encounter on the return) It might be nice if he also tells his dad to warn his mum that in the second film he will be sending back a Terminator that looks like the bad Terminator in the first film, because that’s bound to lead to some incorrect assumptions.
And if he doesn’t know because he’s in a timeline where that didn’t happen then that would be interesting too. Maybe his alternate universe self can send himself or a Terminator to the future John Connor to let him know about his father. I don’t know. I’ve confused myself.
If I was in charge of the machines I would just send millions of Terminators back to the 1980s and get them to destroy the humans there and then and negate the need to be created by humans at all.
I am glad that in this reality Dyson decided to use the future tech he’d found to make Hoovers and that Skynet turned away from evil and decided to provide TV and broadband and all the other non-evil work that Rupert Murdoch does.
