Now I remember why I stopped drinking.
I had a hangover which obliterated my whole day. With so little of my book written and so little time to finish it, I can not really afford to waste time.
There was no point in even trying today. I realised I wasnt going to get anything done and so decided to relax and hope the sick feeling would go away
I felt a twinge of temptation to re-install the casino software, but resisted it. I realised the other day that I had made enough to buy a new laptop and that has been enough to make me think that I shouldnt go back.
Instead I did something equally stupid, which was to reinstall Civilisation II on to my computer. It has been a long time since I played this. It is a wonderfully involved and mesmerising game. It takes days to play and theres so much going on in it, that even when you make a decision to have a break, you still need to take the next turn to make sure you caravan turns up in Heliopolis. Two hours later you are still playing, still having just one more thing to do before you can stop.
I have a book to write. I dont have three days to waste being the god-king of an imaginary civilization. Is there any way to justify it? I am currently writing about the cultural history of the penis, and playing Civilization does give me an idea of what it must be like for a burgeoning society with no knowledge, to grow into a modern day one. But although more people appear from somewhere, no-one in this game is having sex, nor is it really relevant in any way.
As a kind of joke I played as the German nation and called myself Hitler (do you see what I did there? Naming myself after one of the most evil men who ever lived. Hilarious!), though I also enjoy calling myself a rude word like Cunt (very nearly a real leaders name anyway) and then being referred to as Emperor Cunt, or whatever my title may be. That is always amusing. I am 35.
Ironically as Hitler I played a very peaceful game, choosing to concentrate on trade and democracy and giving my people Mass Transit systems and libraries. Then with the money obtained I would subvert the cities of other nations. And then occasionally have a war, but only if they start it. And with my superior technology I always kicked arse (not ass, I am English).
By midnight I had blurred vision. Tiny soldiers and engineers were still etched on my optic nerve and shifted along their imaginary way to nowhere whenever I closed my eyes.
It will have to go the way of ladbrokes.
