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I turned the Quality Street/Celebrations tap off in my brain and suddenly chocolate held no interest for me. I'd been in a chocolate purge where anything went, but the horn has sounded and the purge is over. Maybe this is the way forward. Anything goes for Christmas week and maybe my birthday, but then society returns to normal. One of the prime motivators of a diet is to get to the point where food nauseates you (or preferably you are actually sick for a day or two).
Boxing Day is maybe a bit early to return to healthy ways, but it felt like it was time to me. And is there a better day to go cold turkey? Come on. Proper joke. You don't get many of those on this blog so make the fucking most of it.
I did have a couple of brandy snaps before bed. Don't tell the authorities. And it's OK to get addicted to brandy snaps as they are so hard to get hold of that you can't get addicted.
I even went out for a Boxing Day run and surprised myself by managing 20 minutes very comfortably, including a good chunk up a steep hill. I am fat in even years and thin in odd years so I really need to get things back in gear for 25.
But I like the idea of a chocolate purge. The purge where any crime goes and there are no police or hospitals available for 12 hours seems a bit daft. I don't see how allowing crime and getting rid of fire engines for half a day really solves anything. Maybe it will encourage thieves and murderers to not bother doing crime for the rest of the year, but they can easily do a year's worth of crimes and murders in 12 hours. Probably do more than they would have. And I bet insurance doesn't cover any losses, so it's lose/lose for the non-criminal population.
But less serious purges might work. I suppose Easter is a chocolate purge already. You're not meant to have any sweets for 40 days and then you have a year's worth of sweets on Sunday morning before breakfast and are then sick (if you are me - I never had time for people who ate a tiny it of Easter egg every day and still had some left in October).
I had an idea for a comedy film where every year there is a sex purge and everyone can have sex with any consenting person regardless of whether they are in a relationship or not with no repercussions (beyond pregnancy and STDs) but the story follows an unhappily married couple who are both desperate to join in, but can't get a baby sitter and neither trusts the other to do it in shifts. So they're stuck in their flat as sounds of unbridled passion fills the air.
I guess most film goers would prefer to watch what was going on outside rather than being stuck inside with the only two people not having sex. But I don't believe in giving people what they want. As my career attests.
And if anyone wants to institute the sex purge in real life then I am well up for that. Stewart always went on about some North or South American tribe where they had a day where everyone could have sex with anyone who wanted to (can't find anything about it on the internet, so it may have been wishful thinking) and how that actually worked (though the tribes of America seem not to have inherited the sexual shame that has pervaded through most of the rest of the world).
Sadly though I think a real sex purge would just bring home to me (and many other men) that no one really wants to have sex with us any more. We could all have sex with each other I guess. It's better than nothing.
I think in reality I would stay in and be grateful that I have an amazing wife who still seems to mainly love me (in spite of blogs like this) and still finds me attractive. If there was a sex purge it would definitely go much better for her than it would for me.
But if they could have a day where parents don't have to look after their kids and can just sleep I am definitely up for that one.
