Nearly there now. My voice gets croakier, my legs ache more, I sleep in later. But soon it will be over.
I did some leafletting again to try and ensure I got a full house. I spotted my comedy enemy Avid Merrion or whatever he is called in the Pleasance courtyard. He saw me too and we exchanged a telling glance. I considered leafletting, hoping he would come to the show and see how people reacted when I said "I hate stupid people. They spoil the world for everyone else. Because of stupid people we have Bo' Selecta." I am sure he is aware of my feelings on his show by now though. I suspect his millions of pounds and continued TV contracts provide him with some kind of comfort.
Managed another sell out and the show was fine. Then it was on to the big comedy awards show. I had drunk a fair amount beforehand. I bumped into Gail Porter on my way there. She is someone I met a couple of times back in the mid-90s and who me and Stew took the piss out of a bit when we were on telly (due to her being the lad mag pin up - but part of the joke was Stew's puritanism as much as any comment on her). She was very friendly and funny though. "I haven't seen you for ages," she said. "Last time we met I had hair!" She gave me a hug and we had a laugh and she commented on our old jokes, but didn't hold any grudges. It was a nice encounter. As a comedian you do sometimes have to meet the people you mocked, and sometimes it can be much worse than this.
I got to the venue and knocked back a few Moscow Mules as we waited for the thing to begin. I was determined to enjoy my last Saturday night and was in a skittish and silly mood which alcohol just exacerbated.
Mobile phone salesman Ed Byrne was hosting the awards. Early on he turned his attention to the name change and the difficulty in knowing what to call them. "You can't call them iffies and you can't call them eddies," he said, "You have to call them by their proper name."
At this point a drunken voice from the crowd shouted "Perrier! Perrier! Perrier!" The drunken voice belonged to me. I got a few laughs and a few shushes and Ed Byrne blanched a bit and faltered and said that they mustn't be called that. It reminded me of the time at the first of the two British Comedy Awards I have been invited to (1992?) where Stew and me were drunk and commenting a bit loudly on everything that was happening. When Angus Deayton went up, Stew (and possibly me as well, it's all a bit hazy) shouted "John Cleese!" making a comment on the debt that Deayton owed to the Monty Python funnyman in his own performance style. It was wrong and rude, but funny. I think the Perrier thing was similarly stupid and amusing.
I had predicted wins for Josie Long, Mark Watson and Phil Nicholl and was left wishing I had put some money where my mouth was, because each of my horses raced through. Although I had kind of hoped Tim Vine might get the spirit of the Fringe thing (I also shouted out his name during the award presentation - man I was a crapulous twat), it obviously had to go to Mark. And my Boggle chum Josie was a popular and rightful choice. Phil has put so much work in the last couple of years and though I haven't seen what he's doing this time, his last year's show was one of my favourite Fringe experiences of all time.
I went away empty handed, but with a bladder full of the whoever it was who was actually sponsoring the awards' booze.
So another year empty-handed and I don't think the Daily Telegraph have even bothered to come and see the show this time, so I can't retain my Worst Comedy Experience title. But I think it's been a good Fringe for me, even without the approbation of my peers or a fizzy water company which kills babies.
One more show to go! Hoo- ha!
